(Who are those two kids with their first kid!!??)We all develop emotional habits that effect our behavior. Certain situations create emotional reactions in us and those emotions can lead to other emotions and it can all become a nasty habit.
I have been a person who reacts to much in life with anger, in an attempt to keep down and protect my real feelings. I later reprimand myself to the point of depression for angry outbursts. I was SO THANKFUL to listen to a message today that once again directed my attention away from the I to the HIM. I am writing this out in hopes that the simple yet brilliant truth that hit me during the message will remain, stick, that I will GET IT.
We can learn so much from our babies… children come sign sealed and delivered with the ability to accept love and the wisdom to not turn away mercy.
So I get angry, so I am not perfect, so habits seem so strong they threaten to define me… I loose sight of all the Lord has to offer me through my bad behavior, MERCY being the biggest gift I forget about and then squirm about receiving. Mercy comes in and I need to get over myself. It doesn’t matter how rotten I have been I need to ignore my prideful pull toward making it right and being good on my own and let the Lord clean me up, forgive me and grow me into something beautiful. It isn’t about how much I screw up, it is about how much he loves me.
When I brought my babies home I loved them because they existed. I loved them into growing. No matter how rotten I can be the Lord loves and that is the beauty of mercy. Jesus Christ loves me into growing.
TTFN
You’re not alone! I struggle with anger too. I know that slowly I’m getting better. why? God. He is changing me, I’m not sure how but it’s happening. I often wonder why I’m such an angry person. no answer to that yet. But you’re right keep your eyes on HIM because ultimately he loves you the way you are! Keep on pressing in! By the way, I enjoy reading your blog!