I have always attended church…was raised in a little conservative fellowship chapel. Made a commitment to follow Christ at 14 years of age and became part of a charismatic group. This choice was birthed out of years of emotional struggle and pain. A feeling of insecurity at home and at school left me feeling unhinged. The climax was when my Grandpa died. Living as a regular member of my culture held nothing for that volatile adolescent me…
I had no real idea what this choice to be a Christian meant and for many years I mostly saw it throw selfish eyes… as if the relationship was for me and my benefit…Christ was a part of the puzzle and along for the ride…church was a place we where commanded to attended and might get a good high from…
I am now in a place where I question how much I have really counted the cost of following Jesus Christ. Have I really left it all to follow him and given up my self in true worship? Is he my life or just a piece? Do I invest in the body of Christ, The Church, or just attend a church?I am looking at breaking out of another cultural norm, feeling as if I need to go beyond the limits of comfort that the north American church has set for me… wanting more.
I found it strange to share my testimony at this time in my life, because in some ways I feel like I am at a point of greater transformation then when I said that initial prayer in tears. I used to go into great detail about the sad little me lead to Christ and the fire-y little me that followed the sinners prayer but now I am feeling like I must not allow myself to stay there. I am desiring more growth then I have thought necessary or possible for the last several years of my Christian walk.
I am truly thankful for the beautiful and the painful lessons that I have experienced. Wouldn’t trade in a single experience that has made me who I am today. Excited about what the future will hold. Desiring to grow in love always and I am seeking to live for Christ NOW.
LINKS to related posts RIGHT HERE and RIGHT HERE.
TTFN
