FRIENDSHIP
QUANTITY TIME
QUANTITY COMMUNICATION
I strongly believe the three above statements aid greatly in the necessary but sometimes difficult area of trust building in the marriage.
Because my husband and I where friends first we talked about everything and still do. Today he remains very much my best friend. When something happens, good or bad, my fault or my victory, I naturally want to tell him first. When I need help it is he I rely on first. When I am in need of advice, again, it is my husband I seek out. He has earned my trust and this role of best friend by being my best friend. He values my salvation, my person, our friendship and our marriage. I think I already expressed how being friends makes the necessary quantity of communication happen easier. It also makes quantity of time spent together easier to do willingly. I can’t think of anyone I would want to hang out with more. Despite bad experiences in married life, if there is friendship, communication and lots of time spent together, loving and valuing one another, the trust will grow.
I would like to say it has been easy but, as I mentioned before, all the practical advice just HELPS in the growth of trust.
It takes a lot of faith, and my husband and I choose to put that in Jesus Christ. We are both very much human. With our backgrounds trying to define how we process the now we can often be geared in different situations to be mistrustful, even of our life long lover. We will also fail one another. It is to be expected. When the mistake has been made it will take great faith to see beyond the hurt, beyond the harm and toward trust. These are the moments of true trust growth. When we are hurt by our lover it is all the more painful because of who they are and to choose to love and trust in spite of the wrong is when it all really counts.
Finally, I find trusting myself to be often a harder task then trusting my husband. I am all to aware of my faults and I fear hurting him or continuing to hurt him. Again, faith is what helps me carry on when I have been the one to cause harm or cut away at our trust. I don’t think I would continue to trust myself in this relationship if not for the transformation power that is available in Christ, for me just as much as it is available for my husband.
Christ can change any and every part of who I am for the better and so that is what makes me worthy of putting trust in. It makes my husband, my Garnet, worthy of trust. It makes our marriage a commitment worth trusting in.
TTFN
I enjoyed your post… and your very cool B&W photo. You have a new hair style? Nice!
You have a lot of wisdom, Mac an Rothaich. It’s obvious that you have studied, and it’s apparent that you have also sat under some good teaching.
Thanks for sharing with us today, on Marriage Monday.
Hugs, e-Mom ღ
We were friends first as well, and had found that ability to talk about anything. That ability to talk it all out has definitely fostered our trust. We know that there is no condemnation or jealousy when we express the doubts or worries or celebrations or friendships with others. There is a joy in sharing. I am so grateful for that.
My husband and I were friends before we married as well. I think it is most important for your spouse to be your best friend. I know that mine is.
I like how you listed “quantity” time and “quantity” communication. Too often the focus is only on “quality”, but “quantity” counts too! Thanks for sharing.
I thank God that hubby and I are also best friends like you and your husband. It’s true that if you’re best friends, it’s so easy to just talk everything over – just like you, hubby is usually the first person to know my victory and failures, joys and frustrations, my fears, etc.
And yes, our relationship- our trust for each other- has grown stronger when we have become one in faith, in serving God despite our struggle in the past. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on love and trust and for leaving a very nice comment in my post.
God bless you and your family always.
P.S. I love your blog design. Soooo cool!
I love your practicality. Friendship many times leads to open communication rather than position. At least that is what we have found in our marriage. We too were friends before we were married.
Great post!
I agree with all the above comments. You gave great wisdom with your post and I’m with you, there is nothing better than having a husband who is a best friend.
Thank you for visiting my post and leaving a kind comment. Have a great weekend in Him!