It was a struggle. I forced myself to sketch a couple different versions of the image I had in mind and only kept the one that came out easily. It was also the drawing most pleasing to my eye. The struggle was getting back into a hobbie I so greatly adore and having it be hard again. I had to remind myself that it is to be expected, I haven’t sketched in two years, after all. Well this strange feeling started from that little moment. I realized it is becoming easier, in many ways, to balance my domestic life and my personal life. In many regards I have stopped wrestling with the idea that my choice to be a stay at home mom colids and destroys so much of me… I have realised it was all just waiting and I only need to pick up the good stuff. Interestingly enough though I have also noticed through out all this that I am so much more happy in my role. I adore so much about my peaceful place at home (peaceful being more about me then in relation to sound and activity… there is plenty of sound and activity). I used to say ‘I LOVE BEING A STAY AT HOME MOM.’ and there was a bit of grinding teeth determination behind it… because I knew it was the right choice for me… but know I don’t just know, I really think I can see it. It is all coming together… I quite enjoy being a stay at home mom.

TTFN