PERSONALITY – The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.
We all have trouble seeing the faults in our own personalities. It seems to me that discovering these areas, that are indeed self toxic, can be tricky. They can be masked with good intentions, or even more difficult to look through, masked with hurts done to us…
Legitimate hurts can easily allow us to take on self protective attitudes that lead to harmful behaviour patterns. How can I convince myself that in spite of the offence being real I have walked in the wrong way in order to protect myself? Honestly it is hard to admit ones own faults when one is in pain. But the Spirit calls us patiently, no matter how deaf we are!
Protective behaviour becomes wrong all too quickly as it is taking our trust out of the hands of our Lord and putting it into our own. We can not carry on or carry anything in our own strength. Oh but we delight to think just so… finding benefits in a sense of strength and control, believing our personality is one that has learned to be tough through life’s painful lessons.
But the harm will build… we will be broken down… the harm can not remain worth the benefits; and as the pain grows we are truly blessed when we hear him, his conviction and guidance toward freedom from what we might have labelled as our own personalities.
All relationships start to suffer! As we cling to our own STRENGTH we will find a distance between us and Christ. Soon after relationships with our brothers and sisters will be strained. We will loose sight of our purpose through our Lord as well as find it hard to accept the truth that our brethren, the Church, are our treasures.
Every time Christ points out my faults are not who I am and walks into my dark I am again amazed at his GRACE and MERCY! He indeed can handle the worst of me WITH LOVE AND POWER! There is true freedom as I take hold of just enough faith in him to trust him with the pain, to be ready to let go of the benefits and to obey his Spirit’s leading towards forgiving and repentance.
Even when I don’t think I want to let go I remember the healings He has already given me. His love is relentless. I know before I feel that the truth will set me free.
Not my will but thine be done!
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done!
Living in him means we are not limited by our personality.
Always Lady Mac an Rothaich
TTFN
