All posts in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?

A Grand Change in Cultural Expectations Of Men

by admin on February 5, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Life Keeps Changing, Mama Heart Mushings, My Romance with No comments

Reading classic novels is something I truly enjoy. On that note, many classics leave me with a dark frame of mind and today I needed to share a thought that came out of reading a few. I am thankful things have changed, in the area of human rights. I find often, more in books written by male authors, that children and especially babes are seen as of little consequence. One author explained ‘the baby was barely a few days old, certainly not old enough to be given the turn individual’… Oh man… I have a totally different view of the value of life. I suppose the fact that many children didn’t survive into adult hood back then played a part in the often cold written references to children… but… It made me think that the old fashioned habit of men having little to do with babes wasn’t a good thing.

I am so thankful my man has so much to do with our little ones… he works hard to contribute to their basic needs and excels at providing their love and fun needs. When I watch him with my babies I adore him! I am thankful that my Saviour has blessed me with a man who can take MUCH time for his kids and I realise all to many Dad’s just aren’t there…

It also made me think of the true depths love goes down into a woman’s heart, specifically when it comes to her children. They don’t have to be of a specific age, we can learn to claim them in our hearts before they are even born. We feel so vulnerable with them walking around, our heart divided up and openly exposed to the pain and hurt in the world…

I am so thankful it is now okay and ‘in fashion’, if you will, for men in our current age to embrace that same connection with their young children.

TTFN

On The Ice With My Gentleman

by admin on January 12, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings with 2 Comments

It was lovely to spend a day on the ice! My boy was invited to a buddy’s birthday and he was more then willing to have me along! We enjoyed the party and running into many friends but for me it was all about Big Boy. I was so thrilled to have a whole day to spend with just him! He has always been the sweetest gentleman when we are alone!

The hardest part of my day was refraining from too much fussing when he would fall and from squeezing him every time I felt an urge to do so (it was a constant urge). He was just so sweet and well behaved, so determined to master skating in spite of all his spills, so handsome and so adorable! Phew, I am letting my mama mush gush now cuz I was trying not to drown him with it that day. He pulls at my heart so much! I love stealing hugs from him when he play fights with me. He thinks I am just doing a lock hold but really I am getting my hug quota! Lacing up our skates and hitting the ice together will be something I will crave to do with my guy for years and years to come! There is such an art to raising boys! Perhaps more difficult for the mother to master but SO WORTH IT!
Where did we skate?…A beautiful outdoor rink that graces our city’s river side. There is a view of the river and its bridges on one side, the Bez hotel towering like a castle on one end and city scape all around the west side. It was romantic and breathtaking! This was my first skate, but not my last, on this rink!

(There’s Big Boy! Only his third time on the ice and he was able to skate two hours with me!)

There is nothing like it! Skating outdoors is so revitalizing! I couldn’t believe it was January! Our -30 and -40 where gone! It was barely below zero and the perfect weather for a long skate. Here’s hoping we have many more sunny skating days!


TTFN

Don’t

by admin on November 25, 2009 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice? with 3 Comments

Don’t!
pack up the babies once the big kids are off to school and stop at Home Depot for stuff for your man…
and then pack them into the van and out again just across the street and down a bit to hit a clothing store to get same man’s favorite laces…
and then pack them up and out again to hit costco, and push a cart with both kids, that is too heavy for you and keeps getting the tire stuck…
then pack them up again and head home for a quick lunch and nap… then skip nap while they are sleeping so you can clean up the house…
then pick up the other two kids and hit the grocery store just before supper…
then bag your supper so you can go to a ladies evening…
then let your man talk you into staying up till one…

Do!
put a limit on how much you will do in one day…

WHY?
Cuz the next day will be a waste due to you and the babies needing to recuperate and your back will be killing you all day!

Just some wisdom I thought I should pass on… not that I practice what I preach in this regard, ha ha ha!

TTFN

Counting It A Big Blessing!

by admin on November 12, 2009 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings, My Listening Year with 1 Comment

I find at a young age all children posses the heart of a helper and if parents calm down enough about perfection the child learns how to be good at helping. I am learning to be this parent.

Big Girl used to play ‘Cinderella’ when she was little. I would give her a damp cloth and she would, well, smudge everything in her path but with an earnest heart and desire to help Mommy. Big Boy was my little tidy up ‘Prince Charming’ and still is. He loves helping Mommy clean up the clutter in no time at all.

Little Woman is now entering that stage and partly because she like to feel like a minny mom. For the last couple weeks she has insisted on drying the dishes. I was very nervous about it at first and tried to deter her but, as many of you may no, three year olds are amazingly susceptible to ‘reverse psychology’ so this back fired for me.

Turns out she is quick, very careful and dedicated! I thought the fun would wear off right away but she is still drawn to me like a magnet when the sink starts filling up with suds and hot water! I clearly see one reason she really enjoys this is because she has me pinned down and can talk my ear off. I often get a little tired and just start doing the ‘uh hu‘, ‘oh yah‘, ‘yes dear’ but more often I really enjoy listening to her describe her crazy ‘Little Woman world’.

And please don’t offer to help! Oh she gets mad if I suggest she not worry about the last few dishes or try to dry them for her! And Mommy better get out of the way when it is time to wipe down the sinks at the end, this too is HER JOB! Truth is, if you can’t already tell, I appreciate the help GREATLY and adore the company while washing the dishes. It has made this miserable job something to look forward to!

I can count my blessings! I have been hoping for a dish washer and while I haven’t gotten that yet the Lord sent me company, conversation and a loving littler helper to make my burden lighter:)

TTFN

Unconditionally I Wove My Little Woman!

by admin on November 8, 2009 in Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings with 1 Comment

Not so long ago, when Baby Boy first arrived I remember having to remind Little Woman that I wanted to give her love’n. When ever she would get upset with life and act out I would say ‘Just let me know when you need some love!’ and she would reply ‘I need some wove Mama.’ and then we would hug… well I think it is paying off. She seems to have a simple yet complex understanding of our love…

L.W.–“You wove me when I cry’n, wight Mama?”
MOM–“Yes, when you are happy I love you and when you are sad I love you!”
L.W–“You wove me when I gumpy, wight Mama?”
MOM–“Yes, when you are silly I love you and when you are mad I love you!”
L.W.–” Yup you wove me when I in the tub too!”
MOM–“Ha ha ha, Yes I love you when you are clean and when you are messy!”
L.W.–“When you wove me Mama?”
MOM–“I love my Little Woman always!”
L.W.–“Yup.”

Our conversation while she was having her bath today.

TTFN

Market Mall

by admin on November 7, 2009 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings with 1 Comment

I love Market Mall. It is one of the first indoor malls in our city and it has friendliness and community galore, unlike the big flashy malls that are way more popular. It was the perfect place for Big Girl and I to have our first real shopping night together.

We went out to find her something she would really enjoy (and something that she go to pick out all her own) because she has always had hand-me-downs and never has experienced picking things herself. We also went to find Mommy a black sweater… can you believe that is the only color sweater I didn’t have??

We hit ‘hangers’ and spent lots of time picking and trying things on. We really got into a groove in the change rooms and between trips down our imaginary cat walk we both found what we where looking for. We also found a new ability we both have, to help one another shop with honesty and understanding of our very different tastes! It brought back memories of times like that with my mom and so I was very very happy about our trip. We stopped for a root beer and a latte and even found the time to look at some books (Big Girl is so into reading all of a sudden!!!).

This trip was really important to me. I needed to have some honest conversation with my eldest daughter. We go out alone so rarely and I have felt the distance between us lately. She wants to be more cool then cute and is so interested in teens that she hasn’t appreciate my preaching about embracing her childhood as long as she can. After some fun we where able to really talk and I told her how I miss her and I don’t want her to pull away from me. She agreed she doesn’t want that either (phew, big mama sigh!!). I get teary thinking about our perfect evening out because I have so much love and pride wrapped up in that girl and I dream that she will appreciate and value me as much as I did and do my own mother.

I feel like such a winner when I am with Big Girl!

TTFN

Speak Selflessness Into Your Child

by admin on October 20, 2009 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, My Listening Year with 1 Comment

All summer I have been working at finding quiet time to go through a message series called ‘Soul Sisters’.

Today I listened to the final message in a series.

A parenting lesson rang out in this message. It was a lesson in how we speak to our kids. How we convince them to do what is right. We often get into the habit of convincing them to do right by reminding them of the self consequences or benefits to self and in the process aid in the development of a selfish world view. Instead, if we truly desire them to be empathetic and aware of others around them we should seize each little opportunity to start speaking in a selfless fashion.

Provers 31 is an oracle taught to a king by this mother. Around verse four she talks about the dangers of drinking to much and the consequences she uses are outside of how it will affect him. It is a lesson in selflessness as well. “…it is not for kings to drink wine…or else they will drink and forget what has been decreed, and will pervert the rights of all the afflicted.”

How often have I told my kids ‘don’t do that!’ and the why not is a consequence unto themselves? I strongly desire my kids to think of others and this gave me another example of how to improve my parenting skills in this area.

The day my daughter came home and shared with me about her kindness to a bully I was surprised at her wisdom and reminded that children, in their innocence, can understand moral behaviour better then we do. “There was a mean boy bugging my brother today. I got in his face and told him to stop… and then I remembered he might be like that because no one plays with him so I asked him to come play on the monkey bars with me and we played all lunch hour.” She didn’t just react in justified anger but went a step further and empathised with him, even though he was in the wrong. I pray the Lord continues to bless her and me with such understanding.

Check it out! It introduces an interesting interpretation of the ‘PROVERBS 31 WOMAN’ too.

TTFN

Apron Sacks, Flowering Gloves and Bug Pee!

by admin on September 8, 2009 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Mama Heart Mushings with 3 Comments
Children do not always practice calmness, or patience very well; but they can sure teach you patience. Mommy’s and Daddy’s will miss out if we don’t find the patience to really make time with them. (My Little Woman pointing out a duck to us while at the lake this weekend. She wouldn’t go till we all noticed it and good for her for insisting we stop being so absorbed in our adult plans and take note of life!)

I did something today I haven’t done in a while. I let my girls help me cook. We all put on aprons and my Big Girl cleaned the beans, my Little Woman snapped off the end of the beans and I showed them how to snap them in half into the pot. We then washed the potatoes together and carried them over to the counter, using our aprons as a sack (the girls thought this skill was amazing). At first I kept thinking about how much faster I am at doing it alone, then I drew myself back to the present and took note of their conversation and the moment we where making together.

I’ve pointedly been trying to be in the moment. At lunch time it is just my Little Woman and I. Most days Baby Boy is napping and the older two are at school. I used to rush around while she was eating and get things done during lunch break but lately I have been making myself sit with her and really listening to all her seemingly unconnected stories.

(Note my Big Girls glove! It is her fall gloves that she is getting covered in dirt but she told me she needed ‘flowering gloves like mama wears’ and so that is what this pink set is for now.)

Yesterday I sat on the front step and watched my eldest ‘garden’. She was taking water from the kiddy pool and pouring it randomly on the lawn. “These are yucky areas that need flowers to grow,”she told me. She would take her rake and scratch away at my empty flower bed, very busy, sure she was making the yard much prettier.

I listened as my youngest daughter giggled and squealed with lady bugs on her mitten (yes mitten). She was so nervous about touching them she insisted on wearing a mitten while the bugs played on her hand. My Big Boy thought it was great fun to scare the bugs and watch them pee on him. They must have kept at the bug hunt and gardening for hours and I managed to sit and really watch for a good while.

I am not someone who enjoys fast pace. I truly do think about moments in time a lot and try hard to capture the littlest things about it all. I have become a very impatient mother though. I have become too busy too often. I need to relax more and cook with my girls, chat with my three year old, hunt bugs and garden in an empty flower bed.

Practicing this is medicinal for my mommy soul.

TTFN

Letting Go Of Lakes and Loving A River

by admin on July 28, 2009 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, My Listening Year with 2 Comments

“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.” Winny The Pooh

I swam in rivers in my youth, up north, but mostly we stuck to lakes. I miss the land. Swimming and boating and LAKES are still in my blood… but I am starting to be soothed by spending time at a river… our river… throwing rocks in, digging in the mud, and even venturing close enough to dip my feet in its calm edge.I will never feel as comfortable in the city as I do beyond its borders and so each time we venture out to spend time in nature I feel relief, like I can breath deeper. Coming home is all the sweeter with a contented heart.Rivers are beautiful. They come from so far and go so far… there is a quote that even at the very source of the inland river, the river believes in the ocean. They go wild and around the corner can be eerily calm.

Our river is feared by most of the locals. There are signs posted at the start of the path we took today that say such things as ‘No swimming, this water is dangerous. Don’t be this years death in the river’ (I am not joking!)…

Truth be told I hope my kids don’t grow up fearing God’s creation but learn to understand it and use wisdom. All that Christ has created is GOOD.

TTFN

Daddy’s Make Their Daughters Dance

by admin on July 21, 2009 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Mama Heart Mushings, My Listening Year, My Romance with 1 Comment

Attention from Daddy puts a dance in her step. She walks in a fluent joy dance and her face is a sunbeam.

My heart fills to bursting when I see this connection they have. I understand that feeling. I remember how it felt when my Daddy took my hand and when he talked with me.

I am so blessed to have a man who has a heart to really connect with his girls. Our girls will be better women for it.

Yesterday she came home from a date with Daddy and couldn’t hold still. She danced as she told me about their evening together. She danced more as he came in after her and stood next to her and she danced with all her heart as he smiled down at her and let her continue her story.

Today I remembered I can have that connection with my Abba Father God and as I danced and sang a few favorite hymns I remembered how willing he is to give me that direct attention, to talk with me, be with me and comfort me.

Just as I love my Daddy for loving me,
I will love my husband for loving our daughters,
and I love my GOD, for he first loved me!

TTFN

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