All posts in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?

Pedicures

by admin on March 3, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Mama Heart Mushings with No comments

It took a lot to get me painting my daughters nails. Having never painted my own nails or had a pedicure till well into my adult years I found it an odd idea. I still have trouble imagining I will be up for them using make up on their face any time soon… one, because they have such perfect complexions at this age what ever is the point and two I have to admit I find it kinda gross on little girls.

Perhaps that is the tomboy in me talking, after all I hated it as a child, the feeling, the look. YUCK with a big tongue sticking out kinda yuck was my thoughts on the subject… until, that is, after my second baby I started to feel old, warn out… my skin just wasn’t what it used to be… I asked advice from some ladies I trusted, who’s make up was very nicely done and never over done… and learned you can have small doses of make up, that it doesn’t have to completely change what you look like or feel heavy and itchy.

Perhaps because I started to delve into the world of make up around the arrival of my second daughter and third child that that is why I started painting their nails. All I know now is that it is a relaxing event for us three little ladies. We pamper one another, read magazines and chat endlessly while we wait for the painted toes to dry. Need some quiet time with my girls? Pedicure day! Need some talk time with my girls? Pedicure day!

Although it took a lot for me to warm up to the idea of make up and me, let alone make up and my DAUGHTERS, I have to admit there is value in the time spent together; because we spend it valuing one another.

My parents told me NO make up till I was 16 and I didn’t even want to once that birthday hit… I don’t think I will go that route with my girls… I think I will raise the age requirement higher (wink)!

TTFN

Dads

by admin on February 23, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, People In My Heart with No comments

Daddy’s are supposed to last for ever.
They protect and instruct us.
They shape our understanding about our value and our beauty.
We are their daughters, we need our Dads.

TTFN

The Littlest Gentleman

by admin on February 11, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings with 1 Comment

They all get too big for me to be carrying regularly. My poor little men never like the learning curve involved in giving mommy a break. Both boys where BIG smugglers and thus I carried them through out the day while working, in order to get things done, well past there second birthdays. With my oldest I put my back out picking him up one day and that made the process of ‘cling-on independence training’ much more of a crash coarse. With Baby Boy I have been more willing to put up with pain as he is my last baby and I can’t help but want to encourage the luv bug stage to last with my little guys. With hip problems since my last childbirth I now have to admit it is time.

The process is cute really. Step one start talking to him about mommy’s need to stop carrying him so much because he is such a big boy now. Mommy must stop calling him baby and start encouraging him that being a big boy is so much better.

Finding new solutions to their snuggle needs is the big thing. With both trying to sit when ever he wants up and let him sit till he is done worked well. Baby Boy likes it when I will ask for a leg hug instead or get down to his level and let him hug my neck when ever he asks, squeezing till he is done. Extra time is given to him in the morning. Letting him climb into my arms and snuggle on the couch during an early morning nap will often meet his snug quota for the whole day.

Finally, in public my best solution has been ‘you can always hold my hand’ and he does! More then any of my other children he just loves to hold Mommy’s hand. This has become an at home solution too and I am back to one armed cleanup as my two and a half year old follows me around, holding my right hand.

He is getting over the angst that this stage first caused him and is actually a happier boy now. We both are seeing we get more real snuggles this way, it is far more affectionate then just carrying him 24/7. His maturity level has gone up in response to my encouraging him that he is now a big boy and he is becoming as sweet a gentleman as his older brother.

Like his brother he is starting to become very aware of my needs. He will ask if he hurt me when I do pick him up and he with stroke my hand when holding it. My boys are the first to notice a new necklace or outfit and to compliment me. I can’t tell you how fast my heart melts when my Baby Boy says ‘nice neckwace mama, preeeetttttyyyy.’ or when his big brother says ‘oh mom that is a really pretty shirt, is it new?’ I see some serious wife winning skills developing here!

As hard as it is for him, it has been hard for me to convince myself that it was time to stop calling him my baby. It is necessary as with every other opportunity a parent takes to teach their child to live independently of them. My reward is how much happier he is as his desire to be acknowledged as older is granted.

With that, as I changed Big Girl to Eldest Damsel this year; Baby Boy’s blog pet name will now be Little Gentleman.

TTFN

A Pick Me Up For Little Woman

by admin on January 13, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Little Things, Mama Heart Mushings with No comments

Little Woman adores dogs… always has had this drive to take care of and fuss over animals…that is why it is so upsetting for her, and me, when one snaps at her. We ran into the snappy little dog in a store today… I warned her to give it space but… she was so crushed and a bit scared when the little dog got mad at her approach. I hugged her and the owner punished the dog and yet she cried all the way to the van.

When we got to the van I decided to take her in to the grocery to have a look around and work out those tears. When she stopped at the flower section and kept smelling all the different plants I saw her smile return. Perhaps it was the joy she took in the pretty flowers or the pleasure smelling them gave her… this could have been even more of an effect on me since I have no sense of smell… but the potted daffodils fate to come home with us was a sealed deal when she told me ‘I would take such very good care of the baby flowers.’

The little pot of strong and young plants was on sale so I was smiling as we payed for them. The little girl holding them, carefully and firmly, in her grasp was smiling because she had something to mother. This was a perfect little pick me up for Little Woman, it is totally a need of hers to be helpful, important and even domestically motherly.

TTFN

Warning, Not Making

by admin on January 9, 2011 in Better Check Out Blogs, Better Check Out Links, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Mama Heart Mushings with No comments

Watching your children face consequences is so very painful, so important for that child’s healthy growth but so very hard for a mommy’s heart. As I start to let my stubborn child face up to choices made I acknowledge this is a very new and scary place for me as a mother.

Always available to tell you the better way my love,
to help you find it,
but also to let you learn… insist you face consequences
and to love you any ways.

I didn’t think I would move out of the young stage so soon… it is hard to acknowledge that I physically can’t prevent my kids from all harms and bad choices anymore… that even though I still have preschoolers my older two are far beyond that stage and onto bigger things that are so much harder on my mind and heart. I can warn them but unlike my babies I can only MAKE them to a point now…

Following my mom’s wise advice I will be praying so MUCH for my children, so much more now even… it is so easy to pray for them when they are sweet babies and tender children but as they move into more ornery stages I hope I will be all the more disciplined a prayer warrior on their behalf.

I am moving beyond my comfort level as a mom already, LORD protect my heart!

Note: This section added January 10th.

P.s. Found this phrase, LABORING OVER LOVE or love laboring, and it hit me that that is how I have been feeling, in regards to my babies… Found it at the link above.

The author shared a concept that you never stop laboring over your children… painful but necessary and oh so much a part of love… I needed to read that… and just breath.

She seems like a very thankful lady so I must look into more of her writing as I work on a year of thankfulness myself. Right now I am truly thankful for her article and her concept, for it has calmed me down and helped me see the strength in being a mom, in being one mom among so very many, world wide, who deal with the pain of loving children all their days…

TTFN

Growth in Childhood Anxiety (terrible truth)

by admin on January 4, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, People In My Heart with 1 Comment
(The adorable frost mushroom that my kids found on my kitchen window, they check to see that it hasn’t melted away every day.)

Research into children and their modern stresses is going on as we speak and has been for a while. A paper is being written, and is currently under review, about some of the findings and what they may mean.

The author of this paper was sharing her thoughts today on the radio and I was amazed at the timeliness, in my life personally. I needed a good self examining of my parenting of late (always a good practice I believe). Am I giving in to the very non-beneficial social norms of focusing overly on pumping my kids up with the YOUR SPECIAL thing and disregarding the importance of teaching empathy? Am I pushing them overly hard to succeed at stuff like school or sports so they can GO FAR and I can feel good about it? Do I let them PLAY lots? Just play! Like kids!

Child anxiety is BIG, much bigger then it used to be and unlike other times in history it isn’t going down of late. In young adults it is actually growing all the time. They asked children what they are anxious about and not once did they mention finances, or enough money to take care of them (something I think a lot of adults worry about). The kids mentioned the unity of their family and the physical safety of their family. The researcher believes this is related to the fact that mental illness in kids and divorce rate are growing at the same rate. From personal experience I can see this relation since divorce really seems to be a lot of kids greatest fear.

Another large contributor they discussed was greatly related to EDUCATION… ‘What,’ you say? Education is a good thing… and it is but too much of a good things and… you are throwing up, to put it nicely. They discussed the overzealous ‘my kids is a genius’ trend among parents. Apparently most of the extra push to put these poor kids over the top isn’t working. Instead it is creating a less empathetic generation who is stressed out from a very very young age. Apparently it is called ‘shadow education’, when kids are put in extra stuff and put through extra stuff to increase their academic standing, when they are already successful (not talking here about children who need it because of learning disabilities and such). In the country with the highest usage of this parenting style (Korea) there is no signs that it helps.

When they mentioned how education is now considered THE only real way to really prepare your kids for SUCCESS my heart went in my throat… Sorry, for me that is where Jesus comes in… yup, love… that simple… They never clearly said it but it seems clear, once again, that kids NEED love to be successful in life.

Excuse me while I go hug my kids and make sure they know I love them… then I am gonna tell them to be nice to other kids (wink).

TTFN

‘That’s My Auntie In The Choir!’

by admin on December 12, 2010 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Holiday Messages, Mama Heart Mushings, People In My Heart with No comments

Watching my eldest daughter beam with pride at her Auntie this weekend was wonderful. Big Girl loves to sing so for her to get to attend professional choir concerts that include an auntie it is a BIG big deal. Not to mention, I can hardly contain how lovely it all is myself!The evening started with my girl and I working extra hard at dressing up Christmas-y and that is always too fun. I remember such evenings with my mom and how I trusted and appreciated her opinion while getting ready. She always took the opportunity to remind me to find what I like and that to like it means I will always look fab in it (fab is my word, not hers, he he he). I sure hope my daughter learns the same little bits from me.

We got picked up by my husbands parents and whisked away to a lovely big United Church where this choir usually holds their performances.This performance would be all the more fun since there would be audience participation during the evening. There where many carols I hadn’t heard before (different languages even) and so it was very entertaining and new. While most of the numbers where performed as a whole choir, a soloist did a lovely job of two numbers. The men and women took turns doing carols all on their own. My girl was glued to it all when the flautist stood and performed beautifully with one song near the end. Many of the songs where so beautiful you found yourself still and moved only in the heart.

(My sister and her girl after the concert.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

TTFN

And The Tree Is Up For 2010

by admin on December 5, 2010 in Better Check Out Links, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Holiday Messages, Mama Heart Mushings with No comments

After having it up for a few days with no decorations the kids patience was rewarded with a family night to decorate the tree. They where so much quicker this year! So much less fighting as I just let them do their thing and rearranged what needed to be rearranged once they went to bed (he he he mommy trick). They had so much fun and it looks very sweet.We started the evening off right by putting our pjs on and having an applicable supper; popcorn and smoothies (applicable because it is all about the kids tonight). We then listened to some ‘Vinyl Cafe’ via pod-cast (online) and decorated. The story was very cute, by the way, it was called ‘Dave and the Elevator’, look it up if you have a chance. Listen on line at this address http://radiotime.com/program/p_134919/Vinyl_Cafe_-_Stories.aspx !

And if you want Christmas flare look up the Vinyl Cafe story called ‘Dave Cooks the Turkey’.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!


TTFN

Christmas Milk

by admin on November 12, 2010 in Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Foodie Like Me, Little Things with 3 Comments


A delightful and quiet evening with just the kids, the dog and us at home.
A cute cartoon for them to enjoy,
A big blanket for all four kids, and the dog, to share snuggles under.
A special intermission of ‘Christmas milk and gingersnaps’.
A collection of Christmas milk mustaches for mommy to clean off before the movie starts again.
A sweet child of mine exclaiming ‘as soon as we finish this Christmas milk we must get more!’

I just adore that they call Eggnog ‘Christmas milk’ and hope it is our families own little name for it for years to come.

TTFN

Remember

by admin on November 10, 2010 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Holiday Messages, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME, People In My Heart with 1 Comment

Everyone wants to be remembered. Those who give for others often will not ask for it but lets remember them all the more.

Today I attended a special ceremony, at the kids elementary school, for ‘Remembrance Day’. My oldest sang in the choir and she did wonderfully. As usual I barely held myself together. I can’t help but be moved by so many emotions at such a ceremony.

I was so thankful I was able to include my youngest too this year. It wasn’t easy for them to be still and quiet. At one point, when the trumpeter was performing, my two year old started to loudly play along with his ‘mouth trumpet’ and I decided to not bat an eye… he settled as soon as the music was done and the fact is his precious little heart and free spirit is a perfect example of some of what the soldiers fought and fight for…and why we so thankfully remember them today and tomorrow.

TTFN

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