All posts in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?

DO NOT Call My Children Tweens

by admin on February 24, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest with 3 Comments

tween – A child between middle childhood and adolescence, usually between 8 and 12 years old.

             

NOW my definition – A creation of consumer focused advertisers, seeking to expand their teen girl spending high.  Teen girls consume a lot, so why not treat girls who are younger like teens sooner so they will spend like their elders?!

For definitions resembling mine look at these links:

HERE
and HERE

My beef – These kids are still KIDS!  Why rush them out of an already too short childhood?  Boys and girls alike, their innocence is INDEED threatened by the consumer mind set that is at the core of the tween trend.  Once made a commercial commodity they are under threat from the most successful advertising campaign style to date; and that is SEX.  Most of the STUFF aimed at tweens are indeed focused around sex; to look older, sexier or meant to produce a type of lust in their young little hearts (ex: the lust craze after young pop stars)

This is my rant, agree or not, but I am wearing my heart on my sleeve because I have seen this pinch put on kids (especially girls) as early as in grade one!  By the time they reach grade four, if the parents aren’t letting them embrace this trend then the parents are classed as strict and over the top.

Do I feel the pressure?  Yes, but not in any way to give into this tween crap…. I feel the pressure to educate my children in defence against this stuff, to pray protection over their precious hearts and demand others let them be themselves, let them BE CHILDREN!

I mostly feel disappointed in my own culture, sad for the children swallowed up in this and amazed that it is seen as harmless.  I’m tired of it already.

TTFN

And Down To One Fish

by admin on February 23, 2012 in Adventure and Me, Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Life Keeps Changing, The Pet with No comments

 Well you never can tell with fish.  Yellow-whisker just didn’t seems as healthy from the get go.  The day before she died I was starting to warn the kids she seemed ill. 

We are now down to just Nia.  Sure didn’t take long for the first experience with a pets death to happen thanks to our new fish adventure.

The kids handled it well, although all differently.  Youngest two seem very unaware.  My eldest is just hoping we get a new fish; maybe a fancier one like a Beta next time.

My oldest boy, however, was the one who found her…  belly up… He looked so ash colored as he came and told me.  I took one  look at her and confirmed his suspicions.  He then looked really solemn.  I asked if he was okay and he shook his head ‘no’.  I said it was okay to be upset and when he started to cry I grabbed him in a big hug.  I assured him it is always a hard lesson in life to learn… that life ends.

After we hugged for a while he asked if he could go be alone in his room.  He then asked the sweetest question, so honest, “Is it okay if I am not okay for a while?  I still feel sad”.

“Absolutely okay my boy”, I assured him.

For now Nia is very healthy looking so we will stick with her and when she goes we will debate trying ONE Beta or just two new goldfish again.

TTFN

Where I Come From

by admin on February 2, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Life Keeps Changing, Little Things, Mama Heart Mushings, Northern Tales with No comments
(My Dad’s most faithful fishing buddy, TANK the minpin.)

We all have a story to tell.  I am working so hard at learning to REALLY listen to others and their story.  I am also learning to share mine when asked.  My kids are dragging it out of me bit by bit.  Often at bed time they ask me to tell them about ‘where I come from’.

Bless their little hearts, they know I enjoy sharing crazy stories once I get into it.  I try to not brush the requests off so much, as they get great joy out of what to them seems like another world… that other world being my upbringing.  They are prairie born city kids and I was a northern bush born farm kid.  We eventually had a phone and most modern utilities; but for the first few years of my life we had no plumbing, no electricity, no phone, wood heat and a goat/rabbit/chicken/little bit of everything else farm, by a lake, with limited road access and lotsa bedrock and bush to play on.

I think I will start sharing a few of the stories I remember on here too.

(THE dog and THE Dad that took me hunting.)

Chicken hunting brought Dad and me together.  Wild chickens, spruce hens and the like, are not very clever and oh so taste-y.  Dad, Mel (the English lab) and I would camo up and hit the trails on a weekend.  Tags and shot guns in hand we would travel sandy roads through the bush till we found the prey.  We shared the shooting and often the boys (my brothers) where along too.  Mel would point and retrieve and we all enjoyed it a great deal.  The snacks where good and the conversation better.

The night we where heading home and he took my hand while I poured my heart out about how hard high school was for me I will never forget.  We had just finished a day of hunting.  It had been very joyful but my heart was heavy at the idea of school the next day.  I got very quiet going home, so he asked me about it, and with tears I poured out my heart.  I don’t know what negative pressures I would have given into during those three nasty years, if it wasn’t for the reliable support I got from my folks.  With patience he offered encouragement, support and a willingly present listening ear.

Dad always had time for us.  If we where willing to strap on the grubs (rough clothing) and go fishing, hunting or just lumbering through the bush with him he was very very available.

I tell my kids this story to encourage them to find something, anything, like bird hunting was for me, as a way to make the time to talk with their Dad and to BE with their Dad often.  It takes two to make it work.  Dad was available and I was not shy about taking him up on it.

TTFN

Give to Your Children

by admin on January 30, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful) with No comments

Was chatting with a friend about how one can work at showing our children the relationship we have with Christ and not just the traditions.  We where talking about how you have to just start, start doing and talking about all things spiritual with your kids before it will become less mystical, less difficult.

It had me thinking of the harm MAKING our kids read the Bible can be.  Why not GIVE them the scriptures instead?  Encourage them to make it there own instead of making them take on something that is ours.

Finding time to let Christ lead us to verses meant for our children specifically and then gifting it to them, teaching them how they can look it up for themselves to read through themselves;  it all helps make a memory for our kids, a loving memory, instead of just another chore.
 
God bless and ENJOY giving to your kids!

TTFN

So I Read It Too

by admin on January 11, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Book Flavor, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Life Keeps Changing, Mama Heart Mushings with 1 Comment
(Snapped this treasure of a photo a couple winters ago.  This is my fourth born, copying his big sister.)

My mom was (and still is) a good mom, so I don’t mind stealing things I remember her doing.  Reading what literature my kids are supposed to be reading, or bringing home to read willingly, not only came from her inspiration but most definitely it comes easily to me due to my being a library technologist.

When my older two got into reading as a hobby, a few years back, I started reading along with them.  They would bring library books home from school and I would rub my hands together with anticipation and think ‘oh so what did we get this time’. 

More and more I am impressed with their choices.  I wonder if they have caught on, or noticed, that I will run to the computer to do research on authors and books I am unfamiliar with, that I am thrilled when I notice they have brought home classics or award winning books, that I will make them send back dribble; that basically I am big into books.

I know they catch me devouring their books after they have gone to bed for the night.  I have actually pried a book out of my eldest’s hands once she had fallen to sleep, and turned her room upside down to find it the next night so I could finish.  She knew… she wasn’t so impressed with the idea of me finishing her ‘biggest chapter book yet’ before her.  My daughter especially really really gets into books so I feel fully with in my right to check out what she is soaking in… I also just simple adore reading.

When I am reading their book choice, at the same time as they are, I get so much energy out of talking about the book with them.  I am jumping in to a new world with them!  Whether they like it or not this Mama is cannon balling it, I know I am not subtle.  “Mom, not another book talk!”  Oh yes, I like to refer them to other literature that is similar to their current reads, and to discuss reaching out to try new genres.  I feed off of questions they have about their book, or books in general.  I AM THAT MOM who reads to them at night and acts it out, voices and all… by all I mean when the owl got knocked out by the bat throwing a large icicle upon his head, ending a magnificently tense scene, in tonight’s bed time chapter, I fell on the floor to demonstrate.

Well it sure hasn’t deterred them from reading, quite the opposite.  They seem to really enjoy that we have this comradery.  Can I just add how amazing it feels to be sitting on the couch in the evening reading with my oldest daughter and oldest son on either side reading too?  Three little heads bowed, noses buried in books… I have waited for moments like this!  My kids make reading more fun for me and that says a lot since it has always been a joy of mine.

TTFN

DO NOT Call My Children Tweens

by admin on January 4, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest with No comments

tween – A child between middle childhood and adolescence, usually between 8 and 12 years old.

             

NOW my definition – A creation of consumer focused advertisers, seeking to expand their teen girl spending high.  Teen girls consume a lot, so why not treat girls who are younger like teens sooner so they will spend like their elders?!

For definitions resembling mine look at these links:

HERE
and HERE

My beef – These kids are still KIDS!  Why rush them out of an already too short childhood?  Their innocence is INDEED threatened by the consumer mind set that is at the core of the tween trend.  Once made a commercial commodity they are under threat from the most successful advertising campaign style to date; and that is SEX.  Most of the STUFF aimed at tweens are indeed focused around sex; to look older, sexier or meant to produce a type of lust in their young little hearts (ex: the lust craze after young pop stars)

This is my rant, agree or not, but I am wearing my heart on my sleeve because I have seen this pinch put on kids (especially girls) as early as in grade one!  By the time they reach grade four, if the parents aren’t letting them embrace this trend then the parents are classed as strict and over the top.

Do I feel the pressure?  Yes, but not in any way to give into this tween crap…. I feel the pressure to educate my children in defence against this stuff, to pray protection over their precious hearts and demand others let them be themselves, let them BE CHILDREN!

I mostly feel disappointed in my own culture, sad for the children swallowed up in this and amazed that it is seen as harmless.  I’m tired of it already.

TTFN

Find Delight (Even or Especially In Winter!)

by admin on December 31, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Domestic Damsel, Feeling It (Thankful), Life Keeps Changing with No comments

(Skating CHRISTMAS DAY! 2011)
What can I say?
I really am delighted with winter!
I guess that is why I still live here.

You can’t have those sweet rosy noses and cheeks with out it.
Or wear thick sweaters and knit scarves each day without it.
Mittens and toques with pompoms are a must have and a must enjoy.

(At the neighbourhood rink with my oldest boy!)

Trips to the outdoor rink, to the toboggan hill, snow forts and snow angels and the amazing way the house feels when you freshly return from winter adventures.


(Our home, a couple winters ago.  We don’t have this much snow yet this year.)

Ones house never feels so inviting in the warm months of the year!
How perfect a big hot mug of tea or hot chocolate feel whether going warmly down your throat or just being held in your chilled hands!

Such glorious domesticity blooms in ones heart as you unpack your snow covered children, rediscovering them from underneath loads of winter clothes and you place a warm cup of love in their sweet little hands.  Just standing over the pot of home made hot coco is enough to make me feel like a great mom.

(A day gone by, at the community toboggan hill will the whole crew.)

Yes winter takes a lot of work and requires effort and yet this is why the little moments feel so very good this time of year.

(My eldest son, on the way home from a winter adventure.)



Hurrah for winter!

TTFN

Give Christmas

by admin on November 17, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Holiday Messages, People In My Heart with No comments

Tonight I am finishing up the initial wrapping of the Christmas gifts. Having young kids who can ‘accidentally’ spot them has taught me to wrap early to avoid worry. Most of my gifts are done up in packaging paper so my kids can spend a whole evening, later in December, coloring them and putting stickers all over them. All, even those in traditional colorful x-mas paper, are wrapped up with a ribbon of Christmas colored yarn. I just like the home-y look to it that way. The yarn makes me wrestle with my packages a bit but I don’t mind. I put the kids to bed, get a big cup of tea and go at it. If the kids are behaving themselves I love to put on the Christmas music while I am at it. Tonight I am humming away, all the lights are low and I am using candle light.

I am thinking about family as I wrap; remembering what a gift family is. I have relations who dedicate themselves to making Christmas a big celebration each year and all the way on the other end of the pendulum I have those don’t celebrate it. I love them all. No matter how you look at it holidays are about relationship. Relationship is needed in life and holidays put a spotlight on that human need. This year my family will include friends who don’t have relations near by to celebrate with, because I so believe family goes as far as your heart is willing to grow.

Most of all Christmas, in my home, is for my kids. I hope to bless them with some of their hearts desires and I also hope to broaden the desires of their hearts to beyond selfish wish lists. I am hoping we can teach them more about giving this year.

May you all GIVE some one a very Merry Christmas this year!

TTFN

Every Mistake is An Opportunity

by admin on November 14, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), People In My Heart with 2 Comments

The other night my eldest had a real scare. Meaning well, she had put her little brother in a situation that got him hurt. She was screaming for me when I came upon them. Her baby brother was fine, and easily soothed, but in tears she crumpled into my arms asking me to forgive her. It took a lot for me not to cry for her. I took a breath and felt I needed to seize this opportunity to teach my perfectionist child a love lesson. “I am so glad you love him enough to be sorry for what happened. You made a big mistake. Mistakes are important parts of life, and growing up, IF we let them teach us. Don’t waste this mistake honey, learn from it”. My girl went to bed, at peace about it all, after we took turns praying.

I pondered how mistakes make my heart ache and two things came to mind. FIRST what I told her is true, we need to get out there and make mistakes and then learn from them. So often in today’s church we aren’t allowed such a Christian life experience. If we don’t know it all right away, if we aren’t perfectly behaved (seemingly) we are not up to snuff thus either attacked or ignored. I see this huge sick issue in believers where we either fake it, thinking we can ‘fake it till they make it’ or we feel rejected, like outsiders, because we are all to aware of our mistakes. WHY are we punishing people for being real? Why are we preventing them from growing? It comes from a mistrust in Christ’s ability to shape each and every person in his body; where is our hope for our brother and sister? It comes from pride and judgmentalism; where is our selflessness and humility? We all know deep down we must make mistakes to grow so let us not paralyse others with false ideas of perfecting ones self, or horde all the opportunities to step out and try, or attack people as soon as they stick their necks out.

The second thing I was flooded with was a thankfulness that my heart feels remorse, as hers did, when I do wrong. I hope I am as quick to run to Christ seeking forgiveness and healing. Watching her hug and kiss her brother reminded me to be brave enough to apologies to those I hurt, as well as repenting before my Lord.

I think a person needs to start to worry about where their heart is at if they get comfortable with their own personal mistakes or managed to fool themselves with their masks of perfection. I desire surrender of my screw ups, praying the Lord seeks out my mistakes that I have learned to excuse, hide or even enjoy. May he bring them into the light of day for my own good and may I resist breaking beneath the pain and instead seize the opportunity to grow and love.

TTFN

Living Life With Umph!

by admin on October 15, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance, People In My Heart with No comments
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with you own life.” ~Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

We like to find distractions, escapism from our own lives, but there is greater benefit in being honest with ourselves. Honest about where we are and who we are and what we are called to right now. Checking into and investing into ones own life, with gusto, can be against our human nature and is a lot of work. If you aren’t willing to fight for the relationships in your life, the purpose in your life…. yourself…. who will?

While it takes time to prove that their is great gain in endurance and contentment it isn’t hard to see the consequences of not seeking this heart attitude. Take my life as an example. I know I am more then a mother, I have a complex collection of relationships that I should be sinking myself into, but I choose this calling as this posts example. Who would suffer if I became frustrated with it? It takes very little for me to become selfishly focused… to kick at my responsibilities, rebel against my reality… If I decide I am not going to live creatively as a wife and mother I am the only one who will be responsible for that waste of relationship and opportunity; but I will not suffer alone in my mistake… my children will not have a devoted and attentive mother, my husband will not have the gift I promised him in our vows, that gift being my heart.

Thankfulness is a gift from Christ and as we use it to give him his do it is also a gift back to him. His thankfulness is strength in our lives. It works like a medicine against the destructiveness of misguided focus, discontentment, frustration, and selfishness. A thankful heart will not be drawn into pity parties that result from comparing oneself to others. A thankful heart will find contentment with how life is, even when that seems unrealistic. A thankful heart can not ignore the beauty in our lives despite the intensity of life’s shadows. A thankful heart will be unafraid to examine ones self and ones work and will not be shy about diving into that with intense joy.

May I take the strength Christ offers me to live my life creatively and with umph!

P.s. Just had a day with no umph…where the house was a disaster AGAIN and the kids where climbing the walls; this following verse always encourages me in the calling over my life to love and serve my family.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessings if we don’t give up.”
~Galatians 6:9

TTFN

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