All posts in Bits Of My Personality

Mental Fog

by admin on April 18, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), Four Little Eggs In My Nest, The Pet with 1 Comment

Sunday night and I finally get to sit and write, but I am so warn out from a healthy busy weekend that my mind is running on empty. The other night my husband teased me that I was thinking about nothing and I informed him ‘that is only possible for men’… but perhaps I was wrong… Being mom 24/7 can wear me down to the point of fogginess up there.

I am starting to think a bit of fog is a good thing. Although I am getting much better at slowing my life down when it gets to be too much for me, I am not so great at doing the same in my mind. I love to learn, I love to read, I love music, I can keep my mind just hopping with information and I like it that way… but now and then a little fog makes me slow it down… one doesn’t digest it all as well if they don’t pause for a bit. Was it my mom who told me to eat slower? Sounds like her… ‘helps with the digestion’ sounds like the right follow up to that comment and so I relate this to my hungry mind and the idea of making good use of all I am learning. I need to digest the info, for info alone is pointless… application is all too ignored in the church culture of today.

The weekend was a weekend for the kids. So much time to just bless them and it was grand! This is why I am tired! Kids have an insatiable appetite for fun and adventure and to truly give them what they need; time, a listening attentive ear, and loads of exercise, old adults can be warn to the beyond tired point. Endless chatter, racing around and joyful noise followed me everywhere this weekend, in the form of four beautiful children and their dog.

On Saturday it all slowed down graciously for two hours, while the younger ones napped. The older two showed their mama some love by playing Lego quietly for the nap slot of the day and I sat on my chaise thinking about how much I love silence… well thinking right up until till I slipped into a delightful nap. Quiet is delicious and I wonder at the fact that not so long ago I was unable to be comfortable in it. As much as I love the dins of music, messages and more I crave quiet.

Though it is not yet a year old, I fear my favorite spot, the chaise by the window, will soon develop a permanent bum print. I flee there almost daily with anticipation… a mothers fatigue graces my mind with enough patience to be quiet… I sit…. I stair, up at the trees in my front yard and the blue sky above that, … and I eat up the silence.

TTFN

Part of My Job Is Knowing

by admin on April 11, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), Mama Heart Mushings, People In My Heart with 3 Comments

“Quite well, thank you, how are you today?”
I always answer,
I always tell them,
If they ask me
Politely…
BUT SOMETIMES

I wish

That they wouldn’t”
from a poem by A.A. Milnes called ‘Politeness’

Part of my job, as mommy, is knowing when it is all getting to be too much, and that you are only falling apart because you are in need… in need of time alone, in need of a hug, a drink, some food, or in need of things going your way just once in a while.

When I rush you in spite of knowing that ‘you need’ I rush you because I am rushed and, by golly, I am always disappointed when this happens… disappointed that I am rushing, that you are being rushed… when it hits me that you just wish the whole world and all its ‘to dos’ and ‘must dos’ would go away, I too wish it would all go away…

I wish that we would be left alone to just console one another…
rubbing one anothers backs and talking gibberish,
left alone to squish bugs on the front step,
oblivious to time while we share a snack.

A reminder to myself to put the daily chores on hold when my actual purpose needs me. My children are my purpose… my husband is my purpose. My house will wait and full fill its role whether it is dirty or clean. Christ is honored when I am able to choose the better way… relationship always trumps tasks.

TTFN

Knead A Little Love

by admin on April 8, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful) with 1 Comment
I am up later then I want to be tonight. Waiting for the weekly bread batch to finally fill up their pans so I can bake them, cool them, wrap them and then go to bed… Staring at them and wishing them to ‘rise already’ wasn’t helping… soooo

He just will not leave me alone… you know, just when you think ‘phew that was a doozy of a lesson’ and you sigh and sit back and BLAM! More to come, tears, joys, growth! It is a strenuous ride that I have chosen to be on with Jesus.

Kneading bread is important to end up with a good batch of loaves. It is a process of pushing and pulling at the dough to get all the air out.The Bible speaks of knowledge as something that can puff up or fill with air. Love is said to build up… one solid and the other… easily burst.

We need to learn in order to love but if we spend all our time learning and knowing with out getting to the point, which is the loving, we will just be full of air.

Lately I feel a good kneading going on in my heart. Love is pushing out the old things I have learned that only puffed up and I am learning new things that establish love in my person all the more… love for others… Who really thinks it wise to wait till your death bed to realize LIFE IS RELATIONSHIPS? I personally don’t want to waste my time and then sweat it when I look back. I want to be able to count many a relationship that I worked on, put into… loved into.

Looking and finding people NOT LIKE ME.

Going beyond my comfort zones with Christ as my guide.

Well good night, I think I shall nap with the timer by my head… to remind me to get up and finish the bread… this should teach me to always start my dough earlier in the day… you think I would learn… you would think…

TTFN

Little Snippets Of Relationship This Week

by admin on April 2, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Little Things, Mama Heart Mushings with 2 Comments

It is such a happy sight to see, for me… the sight of my kids getting along. I am one tired mommy this Friday but it was a good busy week. Managed to seize many little moments with my children.

My littlest man and I worked on a river in the snow… connecting puddles to help the water flow down hill to the drain at the end of the block. We got wet, found a rock and a couple leaves and he was so thrilled.

My littlest daughter and I snuggled on her sick day and I brushed her hair slowly while chatting with her… she adores both her hair being done and direct attention involving conversation.My eldest boy showed me some new dance moves that made me laugh so hard I was going to loose it and I, in response, showed him Mama knows how to do a hockey shirt hold.

My eldest daughter and I sat in a coffee shop together the other night, sharing ice tea and vanilla scones. We opened up our table to a stranger and got to know the sweetest women.

Little man and I laughed ourselves silly when we found two little rock star dolls and talked to one another in gibberish, thrashing the dolls around as if they where dancing. This little game went on for twenty some minutes!

My biggest man lost another tooth making his toothless grin complete. He proudly brought it home to show me, as he had lost it at school.My oldest daughter broached the subject of racism as I brushed her hair just this morning. She graced me with her wise concerns and questions and we had plenty of time together to talk about it.

These moments that seem small, because of how quickly they pass, were for sure important. Life is about relationship… with my kids and beyond.

TTFN

Wee Bit Wednesday (3)

by admin on March 23, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, wee bit wednesday with No comments

{one} what was your first job?
Groundskeeper/chef/waitress at a local lake resort.

{two} have you ever seen a stand up comedian?
no, I guess our provinces isn’t funny enough… they don’t seem to be around….

{three} when was the last time you played mini golf?
YEARS ago, about 4, on a date with my man when we first moved to the city.

{four} what was the last picture you took?
The meal I made last night… I have a thing (trying to encourage myself in a MUST JOB) for taking pics of meals I succeed at and posting them on fb.

{five} burnt food: yes or no?
no… except marshmallows over the fire and hot-dogs and.. well those are it for the exceptions.

{six} if you have a pocket full of change, what do you do with it?
Jump up and down and head to the local thrift store… I think my man confiscates most change around here so I never seem to have change on my person lately!

{seven} can you touch your tongue to your nose?
No, just tried to be sure, but no…

{eight} do you scrapbook?
NO, it is so beyond me plus I have to many other hobbies I am already torn between!

{nine} do you buy lottery tickets?
No, no deep reason either…never been interested or drawn to it…

{ten} do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?
Absolutely behind BUT because I understand how nice it is to take and have pics of people I have worked really hard at being comfortable in front so I don’t make picture takers uncomfortable.

TTFN

Beauty or Open Topic Marriage Monday

by admin on March 21, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 12 Comments
(pssst, please note: I recommend you go to my music play list on the right side panel and select Fernando Ortega’s song STORM, to listen to while reading this.)

The most beautiful things in life are often something one has to strive for and seek out with great effort. Beauty can be simply hard to find. The fact is, things that are lovely become BEAUTIFUL with hard work involved. We will treasure the beauty we find when the path has been long and difficult… it is just human nature to appreciate the dawn more because of the darkness it followed.

There are times in my marriage where I feel intense love and desire for my man that can only be compared to the years of our young romance before marriage. The word spark is often used for such feelings but I feel more like they are an explosion in my heart. It is a fire that makes my heart feel too small, an urge that makes it unbearable not to be with him, a stabbing pain that makes me tear up with joy to touch him. I find these times in life BEAUTIFUL! I treasure them all the more after many many years of marriage and I feel blessed with them, as one receiving a very valuable gift, when I reflect on all the hard times we have had.

There have been deserts in our marriage, I believe we are not unique in that regard. When we make it through still holding on to one another we are often tattered and warn, broken and bruised, dirty and just plain unlovable in many regards… and yet… with a little time to heal, a little repose from the battles we find time to build a fire again… we didn’t give up, we fought for the oasis… now we fan that flame when we have the chance and we enjoy the beauty of a crazy long lasting love.

When I thought about the suggestion of ‘beauty’ as a topic this week this concept filled me up till I felt burdened to release it. Listening to my husband play his piano, a moody passionate piece I must add, has greatly aided my paper and pen time today.

I just want to close with the idea that if a marriage is still together it is BEAUTIFUL.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis
TTFN

Forgiveness (thirteen)

by admin on March 19, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful) with 1 Comment
(Riddick has nipped, my little fellow has punched… and yet they keep working on their relationship.)

When my children engage in fighting and hurt one another I ask them to forgive one another. They always want to know why… what is in it for them? I remind them that the other does love them and it is worth forgiving to keep that love whole. I remind them that the other person is more then the wrong they committed and worth the pain it takes to forgive them. I remind them they don’t have to prove how wronged they where by holding on to it, length of time brooding doesn’t prove how bad it was. A long held wrong only continues to hurt the one who holds on to it, the most and the more. “Is this the hill you want this relationship to die on?” and they always look at me… “Another words, is this issue more important then your brother/sister?” The answer, thank the Lord, has to date always been no it isn’t as important as him/her.

I, me thinks like most other adults, struggle with this when faced with times to forgive… all the more when loved ones are the culprit, when loved ones are the victim or when fear is involved in the hurt… I pray by teaching my kids these ideas about forgiveness young they will not struggle as we adults often do… I pray by teaching this I will indeed learn it myself…

I am not so proud that I assume the wrongs I have committed have ever been less then those committed against me or that my wrongs where easier to forgive… I am not so naive as to think I will not be in need of forgiveness from others in the future.

I just find it hard… I just find it scary… I just keep on forgiving and pray for forgiveness my way. I just keep letting the tears come as I remember what my forgiveness cost my God… how he loves me in the depths of my unloveableness… when I am messy… when I am ugly…. He loves me, Jesus forgives me… AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR FORGIVENESS!

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
~George Herbert


TTFN

Wee Bit Wednesday (2)

by admin on March 16, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Little Things, wee bit wednesday with No comments

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?
clean actually, just had a jockey clothing party at my house and they make you try stuff on so had to shave!

{two} what’s your favorite sundae topping?
bananas… or nuts… or coconut… oh rats…


{three} do you own slippers?

oh yeah! they are another reason to shoe shop in my mind, fav pair are mary jane and leopard print.

{four} did you ever have a tree house?
to many to count, grew up in the canadian shield and my brothers and i where forever building tree houses.

{five} how you do relieve stress?
tea, naps, books, and baths in no particular order.

{six} what’s your favorite dr. seuss book?
the b book, honestly don’t know very many but have read that one to my kids often.

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?
yes, informal ones just before some community dances we have attended, my man and i are gonna do regular ones next year, YAHOO!

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?
dictionary.

{nine} what’s your favorite form of exercise?
biking.

{ten} what’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?

40 minutes, at a government agency.

TTFN

He Takes Me Dancing

by admin on March 12, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Bits Of My Personality, Foodie Like Me, My Romance with 3 Comments
Our night out at an Irish family social and Ceili Dance!

(The musicians of the evening. They played for hours! The flute based Irish music was much more genteel then the bagpipe tunes at the Scottish event we attended last.)

There are advantages to having a mix of heritages in ones back ground. I am most definitely from all of the members of the United Kingdom so I had little hesitation joining in at the Irish social put on this passed Friday in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.

I have to share with you Garnet and my impressions of the evening as it was a real adventure. We didn’t know a single person there. Joining in with an obviously cultural and community event was a bit nerve racking at first. The Irish are a warm people though and it didn’t take long for people to pick up conversations with us. I actually was recognized by one lady who had attended the Robbie Burns dinner as well and she was very happy to chat with me as she wasn’t a regular part of this community either.

(At one point in the evening a group of youngsters joined the band on stage to help with the celebration. It was priceless how into it the little ones where!)

What did we do? Well we found a seat with strangers and chatted with those around us. Got a beer and some Irish treats. The room was a buzz with live Irish music and the hum of conversation was almost a roar as the big hall filled to bursting, so in a way, Garnet and I had plenty of privacy to just enjoy one anothers conversation.

I was very eager to partake in the treats and beer prepared. We tried an Irish beer that was very fruity and light, thank goodness, no Guinness for this girl. It was very very frothy, not carbonated like the beers I am used to. My man has a humor all his own and explained straight faced to me ‘they like it frothy so they can get more out of their beer. They drink it up and then, while the froth is still on the beard, they shave and wring the beer back out of the collection of facial hair, back into the mug to enjoy.’ Oh dear… I laughed so hard… Guess that is why I married him, I like his jokes…

Got a plate full of Irish treats and had fun deciding what we thought of them. The potato bread was, potato-y and flat. The sausage roll was mellow in taste. The raisins scones, while mild as well, where slightly sweet and very fluffy so I enjoyed a few of them. Garnet teased that he figured out what the secret ingredient to authentic Irish cooking was… ‘nothing’ and the Irish girl in me chuckled, it is alright, at least it wasn’t so lingering on the pallet like the Scottish haggis.

(Before the music had even began, the dance floor was filled with prancing children.)

Garnet knew very well we where there mostly to try Ceili dancing (think Victorian community dancing in lines to Celtic music). It was so much fun and so much exercise! We all lined up and where given instructions then had to work as a whole group on the floor, moving down a line together with our partner and another new couple every few minutes. It involved sharing couples with strangers and I had to laugh when Garnet realised we where going to be holding hands with people we didn’t know at all. He gets so German at times like these!

One older woman we where dancing with took note of the contrast between my man (a Mr.Darcy when it comes to dance if you know what I mean) and my enthusiasm toward the whole event. She smiled and said to him (before bouncing away) ‘You aren’t much of a dancer are you?’ He just nodded to confirm. ‘Oh and you came for your wife, YOU DEAR THING!’

Garnet found his own way to enjoy the dancing as well and when ever we bounced into the little nine year old girls who had taught the dance (they are definitely professional Celtic dancers) he would point out errors in their dancing ‘Oh I don’t think you are doing that right.’ I smiled and rolled my eyes to help the girls understand he is only teasing and this made him grin for the first time since getting on the dance floor.

We had a grand new experience and finished the date off with coffee at a favorite cafe down the street, it always has live music on Fridays. There was a roots group playing to the stoic coffee loving patrons of the cafe and it was such a contrast from the lively and warm Irish celebration we had left.

TTFN

Wee Bit Wednesday (1)

by admin on March 9, 2011 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, wee bit wednesday with 1 Comment

{one} what color is your kitchen?
The walls are a soft green, the counters are a darker green, turquoise inspired, the cupboards are white on top and the bottom ones are butter yellow.

{two} do you have a good luck charm?
no, who needs luck with Christ (that is just how I feel and think) ?

{three} do you prefer to write with a pen or pencil?

pen

{four} can you use chopsticks?
I think I do, the food gets to my mouth!

{five} do you prefer baths or showers?
Baths, you can read in them and it slows you down.

{six} what is your favorite salad dressing?
I make a mean homemade olive oil vinaigrette.

{seven} can you sing the alphabet backwards?
If I did it very slowly I probably could.

{eight} do you have any allergies?
Yes, but not serious ones.

{nine} crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
crunchy

{ten} have you ever hitch hiked?
No, my mom would wig out!

TTFN

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