All posts in Bits Of My Personality

Lit

by admin on September 17, 2011 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), People In My Heart with 1 Comment


Hours… I have been rocking for hours. The night is old, the house is still, with the exception of my whole body moving the rocker back and forth back and forth. All would be silent if I was not still humming a lullaby softly, almost mechanically, to my baby girl.

She is my first baby… I am a first time mommy… but the transition from woman to mother was instantaneous. The learning curve steep, the hours long… the stress unlike anything else I have faced… I am bone tired, my brain is on autopilot most of the time and I am often weepy BUT I am a fighter. I am devoted. I am with out a choice and yet I still choose to be her long suffering mommy.

There is a fire in my chest that was lit the moment we began our relationship and each subsequent sibling would add to that fire. It is a unquenchable passion for my children that is beyond the physical. It doesn’t require me to be loud and proud or to express enthusiasm physically… it is deep and constant and certain.

For the first time ever I listened to a message on passion in the Lord that didn’t involve PROVE IT techniques . It wasn’t driving us to be loud personalities or vibrant movers and shakers. The speaker compared passion in the Lord to that calm solid passion I just spoke of… a mother for her new baby… I was completely able to identify and it made me think long, feel deep down, about what kind of bonfire is in my heart for my Lord… how unquenchable and consistent, even more then that, constant is it…

Some of the most passionate Christian brothers and sisters that I have know in my life weren’t necessarily loud and proud, but they had a solid heart ablaze and that warmth flowed from them as they moved full of peace, grace and dedicated devotion to love… to love their Lord, love their brothers and sisters and even love their enemies. They have spoken much into my life with their passion for Jesus.

I am thankful for encouragement to fan the flame of passion in my life… to dig deep and find it still there, burning in my heart for Jesus.

TTFN

Menu Trends

by admin on September 16, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, Life Keeps Changing with No comments

I am back at it, the menu planning that is. With the end of summer I am no longer slacking off so much. Time to roll up my sleeves and make the supper hour go smoother with pre-planning. It is just so nuts around here once the kids are home from school!

Week One MENU Draft One
Walleye Chowder
Cheeseburger Stew
Black Bean Salsa Stew
Creamy Broccoli Soup
Carrot and Zucchini Soup
African Sweet Potato Peanut Stew
Creamy Carrot Ginger Soup

(Oops, hmmmm sensing a pattern here!)

While I was working on my first two weeks of meals I had to make a conscious effort to not fill it right up with soups, stew, chowders or chilies; all of which we hadn’t had much of all summer. It made me realize my food preferences and favorites really do change with the seasons.

Summer was full of salads, or meals of sandwiches and raw veggies and fruit!

Early fall was full of harvested veggies and then a quick protein.
As the chill of autumn really sets in I am, as before mentioned, all about warm bowls of soup (or something like that) to wrap my self around at supper time. Not only that but biscuits, cornmeal muffins, fresh bread and butter or bread dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar with the meal are common place again.

Yeah I am glad about fall and the food that follows its return. Can’t think of what I get all obsessed with come spring though… will have to pay more attention next year.
TTFN

Communication (Marriage Monday)

by admin on September 12, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 7 Comments

My husband can’t read my mind. My husband can’t read my complex or masking emotions. SPELL IT OUT FOR HIM and please stop assuming things about him… ask!

I used to hurt Garnet every time I was hurting. Why? Because I would burst asunder with many intertwined issues that I needed to communicate about after cramming for too long. I would try to be strong… I would thus come across as at first cold and then angry and how could he assume anything else but that he was being accused or blamed?

I had developed a habit of hiding my feelings, then when the cramming couldn’t be contained I would mask them with anger. My theory was anger hurt me less (I eventually learned this less pain for me was at the expense of my husbands feelings). I felt anger made me come across as strong, even when revealing hurts and worries (emotions I believed to be weak). I assumed men preferred this and saw tears and fears as manipulative… thus I told myself I was doing my man a favor.

Garnet is unique, as all men are, and yet has basic male tendencies, as all men do. Because he is unique I never should have assumed the assumptions I had about men lined up with him perfectly. Because he has basic male tendencies he wants to be my hero and find solutions right away. For him to feel like I was attacking him made him feel the failure and hopeless in the finding a solution part.

One day HE figured me out. In the midst of one of my moments he pointed out that everything came out anger and he was tired of trying to discern what was really behind that. ‘Trust me enough to be vulnerable and real,’ he asked and with that my anger wall crumbled.

To love him more I have learned to be honest with my emotions, clear with my issues, and not a crammer till the dam of emotions are so intertwined they burst forth like a flood.

If you really love your husband let him love you and be vulnerable with him, when your pain or worries make you feel that way.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

P.s. If you are like me and had trouble learning how to be open, even with your spouse, the most practical step you can take to get there is TALK LOTS about ANYTHING. We have done regular tea and talk times before bed (once the kids are asleep and can’t distract from the conversation) for many many years.

TTFN

A Plot Of Veggies

by admin on September 6, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, Foodie Like Me with No comments

We have been eating very very well off of our little plot at the community garden. I was so prompt about posting pictures of this spot, while it was still dirt, I thought I had better show you the lovely luscious life that is now abundant.

Here are some pictures from a harvesting trip we did as a family this past long weekend.

(South side of the garden is seen above and below is a picture of the north side.)
(Not from our plot but I had to show you these sunflowers and the prairie water melons that someone successfully grew!)
(Here is our plot, half cleaned out already but still full of veggies!)(Herbs, hanging to dry in our basement, grown in our garden.)

I had more pictures of our produce but have misplaced them so I hope to find them and share them soon.

Gardening is hard work. It took some help from family, to water and watch over our plot when we where away this summer. It took many many night walks over to water it during the dry days. It took days of me and my girls, hands and knees in the dirt, going after weeds. It took nights of me walking over with my oldest boy to pick something fresh for supper. It took more then that too but it gave so much more then just produce back. The garden added family time and quality outdoor time to our summer.

P.S. Check out THIS POST and THIS ONE TOO to see the humble beginnings of our community garden adventure!

TTFN

Apple Sauce

by admin on September 6, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, Feeling It (Thankful), Foodie Like Me, My Romance with 1 Comment

We have never had an apple tree this big before or with apples this large, in our previous homes. My husband took it upon himself to solve the tall apple tree dilemma today. The tree grows way above and behind the cedars in our back yard. Most of the tree is sticking out into the back alley. When we go to harvest apples each year we always have the problem of no ladder long enough and the reddest apples are always high up.

(The kids did there best to help their Dad with the apple picking… although they where very much distracted by their water gun fight and the slip and slide.)

The kids and him fused with this problem most of the afternoon while I prepared a meal of garden fresh veggies for Garnet’s brother’s family. It was a tedious task for them (almost as tedious as cutting up all the apples for apple sauce). I love watching my husband work on a problem. His manly determination is very attractive.

When it was all done for the day we had enough apples picked to start me on my apples sauce marathon. It is an excellent kick off day and the rest of apples will wait… like little red and yellow promises of more work too come… just hanging up there on the tree. Every year I think I am not cut out for harvest time and every year I find a deep satisfaction in the work when I just dig into it and get busy. We will be enjoying thick, creamy, cinnamon-y apples sauce all winter again!

I am so thankful for produce to harvest and for a husband who enjoys digging into the work with me.

TTFN

The Process of Preparing a Meal That Is A Moment

by admin on September 4, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Book Flavor, Domestic Damsel, Feeling It (Thankful), Foodie Like Me, Little Things with 1 Comment

I am a napper… have been for years… my mother and grandmother where nappers so it is in the genes… In the last few years I have went from an easy riser to a crawl outta bed kinda mama. Fatigue is common place in my life.

Now I struggle with putting naps off. The idea of not being with it enough afterwards, for my kids sakes, is a real difficulty. This inner conflict meets its match with the promise of fresh espresso to help with the wake up process. I am super thankful for my little stove top espresso maker. It doesn’t break down like the fancy new ones often do. It is fast and makes nine shots at a time!

After years of this fatigue stuff I still manage to smile as I work at shacking it off, because I really really like my espresso treat and the espresso making process.

I have to serve my wake up espresso with something substantial to avoid going from a walking ton of bricks to jittery jabber-y nut. I find the process of setting it all up a sweet encouragement to my weary self. It is almost as pleasant as the slow morning routine of setting up a breakfast and not just scarfing something down.

Sun coming up…

patter out to the kitchen in favorite robe…

make favorite hot beverage and set up you breakfast in style so you feel pleased to sit down to it…

crack open the Bible and breath in and out as much as possible before the kids wake up!

Speaking of the process of presenting ones self with more then a meal but a moment…I just purchased a book, long ago recommended to me. It is about two women who spent a year purposely making a little oasis around their breakfast habit. I am hoping for delicious encouragement from this book. I will let you know what it is like when I get it.

TTFN

Tea Partying It UP!

by admin on September 3, 2011 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, Foodie Like Me, People In My Heart with No comments

Tea parties make me feel so domestic:) I love the group pictures we have taken over the years. Year after year of different ladies, all dressed in different colors and styles. More hats have shown up over the years, as that has been a personal aim of mine (to encourage more hat wearing that is). Next I would love to encourage the wearing of gloves and caplets!
My mother and a favorite auntie of mine travelled all the way down to be at this party. Mother in law and sister (Mirelle) made it, they are always so supportive of me and the icing on the cake was my ‘college mom’ making it out. Nancy was the lady I lived with through my college years (first few years away from home) and although she has always been the kindest of friend, she was also like a mom… a less bossy mom:) It was great to have her over! Three dear friends came. Two of them being pals of mine for years and the third is a new girl friend who is really game and I like that about her! All of us ate very very well and enjoyed fabulous conversation. Though the wasps chased the little girls in early, we women endured for the sake of more socializing.Why do I do this? Because I love being a woman. I loving being with other women and I love to see them enjoying femininity! It is a grand thing to have a time so full of girlyness that men would be afraid to accidentally intrude:)

It almost always feels doubtful that it will all work out for me to have a tea each summer and then when it is all pulled together it is so worth it. Here’s hoping I have time for one winter-y tea this year and another fabulous summer one next year!

P.s. I have been blogging for a few years now and boy do I love to go back and look through the archives. CHECK OUT THIS LINK to the last tea party I had two summers ago.

TTFN

Favorite Delusion

by admin on September 2, 2011 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), Music Flavor, People In My Heart with No comments

We all like to think we are in control… we think this idea is what carries us through the day, how we cope…

We are so fragile, we are so diluted if we think we are in control.

There are those of us who have been painfully awaken, all naivety removed, as the control is so obviously taken from our grasp…we find our way through the day, we cope, with Christ’s strength.

“It’s out of my hands

There’s nothing I can do

The best laid plans

Again have fallen through

I thought my world

Was under my command

Now I can’t believe

Just how glad I am

It’s out of my hands

My favourite delusion

I must control the universe

Failure brings freedom

You are God, and I’m not so…”

~CAROLYN ARENDS

TTFN

It’s Not Locked

by admin on August 30, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), Life Keeps Changing with No comments

Is a comfort zone really comfortable? I am starting to wonder…

Seems like an illusion or an oxymoron of some kind because, in my case, my comfort zones are only slightly comfortable until someone points them out. Then the bubble bursts and I feel super uncomfortable. Can’t tell yourself you are brave when your fears come to light. They are about as comfortable as a prison, a prison that we let ourselves forget about… until someone comes up and says “So why are you sitting in here? It isn’t locked you know… You are free in Christ so just step out?”

I had one of those moments this morning and it was FABULOUS! Well not fab at first… at first I got really embarrassed about my comfort zone and tried to defend it… then on the way home I was confronted with the fact that I already agreed with Christ that it was time to leave that zone behind and yet it had slipped my mind till a friend, unknowingly, pointed out the prison/comfort zone… I am still sitting in it!! I went from being embarrassed about it to being frustrated, and all in one contemplative car ride home.

I must point out I have been taking steps… but this mornings conversation made me think they had only gotten me across, not out, of the zone. I had this strange feeling that now that I could admit this was fear that Christ wants me to take a Christ sized step… meaning I am not doing this on my own anymore but trusting in him…By the time I got home I was renewing my agreement with Christ. Time to take some action… time to RUN outta this prison… now to pray about how to go about that:)

I am so thankful for moments of clarity brought on when visiting with a brother or sister in the Lord. I am so thankful to be once again aware and ready to step out of this comfort zone. I can admit this has to do with fear more then keeping myself comfortable and I need not have fear with Jesus in my life!

TTFN

And Summer Holiday Comes To An End

by admin on August 25, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Life Keeps Changing with No comments
(Hello handsome, we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other this coming year! It’s you and me baby!)

This is it… the last week off before school… oh my heart twists in knots this time each year. I am usually tired enough to be thankful for school starting up and the break during the day but I am always a little unhappy at the thought of having less of my kids because, lets face it, despite how bad they CAN be they are really sweet kids and I enjoy being with them and like them AS PEOPLE.

I know watching my youngest daughter start her kindergarten journey is going to be the biggest heartache for me this year. My older two really enjoy school and thrive with the social life they get there but Dannan… she is starting out and who knows how it will all be for her… all I know is she has been my shadow right up until… now… next week… and is my helper and chatty kathy and snuggly bud at nap time so… phew so perhaps I am trying to make myself cry with this… moving on!


This was one of those perfect New England days in late summer where the spirit of autumn takes a first stealing flight, like a spy, through the ripening country-side, and, with feigned sympathy for those who droop with August heat, puts her cool cloak of bracing air about leaf and flower and human shoulders.

~Sarah Orne Jewett

That all being said, I am always ready for adventure, enjoy life as it moves and flows so I don’t look back to sad with regrets at wasted time… so I am really pumped about more time with my littlest man and more time to work on my library career again and… MORE TIME:)

TTFN

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