All posts in My Romance

The Beard

by admin on April 22, 2011 in My Romance with 1 Comment

Buzzing, the buzzing of an electric razor is coming from my washroom. Husband is cleaning up his beard for the family dinner tonight; Good Friday will be marked by a dinner with his side of the family. Husband dear has a beard for my sake. We found a funny little compromise, if you will. He likes long hair on me (much more then I do) and I like thick beards on men so he is growing his beard out for the first time in our marriage and I am growing my hair out again. I have a big goofy grin on my face as I type this… I find it all too cute… this is a cute example of compromise in a marriage. It is sweet really… so sweet every time I look at his beard I feel romantically toward him.

Compromise in a marriage isn’t always this easy to figure out… not always this sweet to embrace… both partners aren’t always so willing to bend… and yet bend we must. The other day my husband hugged me and then said ‘Love isn’t love until you have to do the hard work. It isn’t a feeling, it is a devotion and determination when the promise of marriage is tough to keep,’ (or said something to that effect).

Marriage is, indeed, a promise not made because of a feeling, we all know IF WE ARE HONEST how very fleeting feelings are. It is a promise made to remember when we want to quit based on feelings… the promise remains when we don’t want to bend and work with our spouse anymore… it is there to make us remember this marriage isn’t for us or just about us but for and about our spouse and our children and our community.

I think I will wear my hair down, for dinner tonight, and put a flower clip in it… because he likes it that way.

TTFN

Beauty or Open Topic Marriage Monday

by admin on March 21, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 12 Comments
(pssst, please note: I recommend you go to my music play list on the right side panel and select Fernando Ortega’s song STORM, to listen to while reading this.)

The most beautiful things in life are often something one has to strive for and seek out with great effort. Beauty can be simply hard to find. The fact is, things that are lovely become BEAUTIFUL with hard work involved. We will treasure the beauty we find when the path has been long and difficult… it is just human nature to appreciate the dawn more because of the darkness it followed.

There are times in my marriage where I feel intense love and desire for my man that can only be compared to the years of our young romance before marriage. The word spark is often used for such feelings but I feel more like they are an explosion in my heart. It is a fire that makes my heart feel too small, an urge that makes it unbearable not to be with him, a stabbing pain that makes me tear up with joy to touch him. I find these times in life BEAUTIFUL! I treasure them all the more after many many years of marriage and I feel blessed with them, as one receiving a very valuable gift, when I reflect on all the hard times we have had.

There have been deserts in our marriage, I believe we are not unique in that regard. When we make it through still holding on to one another we are often tattered and warn, broken and bruised, dirty and just plain unlovable in many regards… and yet… with a little time to heal, a little repose from the battles we find time to build a fire again… we didn’t give up, we fought for the oasis… now we fan that flame when we have the chance and we enjoy the beauty of a crazy long lasting love.

When I thought about the suggestion of ‘beauty’ as a topic this week this concept filled me up till I felt burdened to release it. Listening to my husband play his piano, a moody passionate piece I must add, has greatly aided my paper and pen time today.

I just want to close with the idea that if a marriage is still together it is BEAUTIFUL.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis
TTFN

He Takes Me Dancing

by admin on March 12, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Bits Of My Personality, Foodie Like Me, My Romance with 3 Comments
Our night out at an Irish family social and Ceili Dance!

(The musicians of the evening. They played for hours! The flute based Irish music was much more genteel then the bagpipe tunes at the Scottish event we attended last.)

There are advantages to having a mix of heritages in ones back ground. I am most definitely from all of the members of the United Kingdom so I had little hesitation joining in at the Irish social put on this passed Friday in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.

I have to share with you Garnet and my impressions of the evening as it was a real adventure. We didn’t know a single person there. Joining in with an obviously cultural and community event was a bit nerve racking at first. The Irish are a warm people though and it didn’t take long for people to pick up conversations with us. I actually was recognized by one lady who had attended the Robbie Burns dinner as well and she was very happy to chat with me as she wasn’t a regular part of this community either.

(At one point in the evening a group of youngsters joined the band on stage to help with the celebration. It was priceless how into it the little ones where!)

What did we do? Well we found a seat with strangers and chatted with those around us. Got a beer and some Irish treats. The room was a buzz with live Irish music and the hum of conversation was almost a roar as the big hall filled to bursting, so in a way, Garnet and I had plenty of privacy to just enjoy one anothers conversation.

I was very eager to partake in the treats and beer prepared. We tried an Irish beer that was very fruity and light, thank goodness, no Guinness for this girl. It was very very frothy, not carbonated like the beers I am used to. My man has a humor all his own and explained straight faced to me ‘they like it frothy so they can get more out of their beer. They drink it up and then, while the froth is still on the beard, they shave and wring the beer back out of the collection of facial hair, back into the mug to enjoy.’ Oh dear… I laughed so hard… Guess that is why I married him, I like his jokes…

Got a plate full of Irish treats and had fun deciding what we thought of them. The potato bread was, potato-y and flat. The sausage roll was mellow in taste. The raisins scones, while mild as well, where slightly sweet and very fluffy so I enjoyed a few of them. Garnet teased that he figured out what the secret ingredient to authentic Irish cooking was… ‘nothing’ and the Irish girl in me chuckled, it is alright, at least it wasn’t so lingering on the pallet like the Scottish haggis.

(Before the music had even began, the dance floor was filled with prancing children.)

Garnet knew very well we where there mostly to try Ceili dancing (think Victorian community dancing in lines to Celtic music). It was so much fun and so much exercise! We all lined up and where given instructions then had to work as a whole group on the floor, moving down a line together with our partner and another new couple every few minutes. It involved sharing couples with strangers and I had to laugh when Garnet realised we where going to be holding hands with people we didn’t know at all. He gets so German at times like these!

One older woman we where dancing with took note of the contrast between my man (a Mr.Darcy when it comes to dance if you know what I mean) and my enthusiasm toward the whole event. She smiled and said to him (before bouncing away) ‘You aren’t much of a dancer are you?’ He just nodded to confirm. ‘Oh and you came for your wife, YOU DEAR THING!’

Garnet found his own way to enjoy the dancing as well and when ever we bounced into the little nine year old girls who had taught the dance (they are definitely professional Celtic dancers) he would point out errors in their dancing ‘Oh I don’t think you are doing that right.’ I smiled and rolled my eyes to help the girls understand he is only teasing and this made him grin for the first time since getting on the dance floor.

We had a grand new experience and finished the date off with coffee at a favorite cafe down the street, it always has live music on Fridays. There was a roots group playing to the stoic coffee loving patrons of the cafe and it was such a contrast from the lively and warm Irish celebration we had left.

TTFN

TRUST (Marriage Monday)

by admin on March 7, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 7 Comments

~How to build trust practically~

FRIENDSHIP
QUANTITY TIME
QUANTITY COMMUNICATION

I strongly believe the three above statements aid greatly in the necessary but sometimes difficult area of trust building in the marriage.

Because my husband and I where friends first we talked about everything and still do. Today he remains very much my best friend. When something happens, good or bad, my fault or my victory, I naturally want to tell him first. When I need help it is he I rely on first. When I am in need of advice, again, it is my husband I seek out. He has earned my trust and this role of best friend by being my best friend. He values my salvation, my person, our friendship and our marriage. I think I already expressed how being friends makes the necessary quantity of communication happen easier. It also makes quantity of time spent together easier to do willingly. I can’t think of anyone I would want to hang out with more. Despite bad experiences in married life, if there is friendship, communication and lots of time spent together, loving and valuing one another, the trust will grow.

~Building trust when it isn’t practically~

I would like to say it has been easy but, as I mentioned before, all the practical advice just HELPS in the growth of trust.

It takes a lot of faith, and my husband and I choose to put that in Jesus Christ. We are both very much human. With our backgrounds trying to define how we process the now we can often be geared in different situations to be mistrustful, even of our life long lover. We will also fail one another. It is to be expected. When the mistake has been made it will take great faith to see beyond the hurt, beyond the harm and toward trust. These are the moments of true trust growth. When we are hurt by our lover it is all the more painful because of who they are and to choose to love and trust in spite of the wrong is when it all really counts.

Finally, I find trusting myself to be often a harder task then trusting my husband. I am all to aware of my faults and I fear hurting him or continuing to hurt him. Again, faith is what helps me carry on when I have been the one to cause harm or cut away at our trust. I don’t think I would continue to trust myself in this relationship if not for the transformation power that is available in Christ, for me just as much as it is available for my husband.

Christ can change any and every part of who I am for the better and so that is what makes me worthy of putting trust in. It makes my husband, my Garnet, worthy of trust. It makes our marriage a commitment worth trusting in.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Grow Old With Me

by admin on February 18, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Little Things, My Romance, People In My Heart with 2 Comments

Love in suffering proves it is a genuine love.The above picture is of my parents. Aren’t they just the sweetest couple? Their life together has been real. They have each suffered and sacrificed to be and stay together. A crazy love by today’s standard of love only when it is pleasant and provides pleasure for self. I examined some crazy love today… at the doctors office.I was sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable gray chair. This chair was all the more uncomfortable when 4:15 went by… my appointment time had been 3:15. To my right, up against the wall and right near the nursing station sat the first couple… they where very advanced in years. A nurse shouts out her name and the wife slowly got up with her walker then started toward the nurse. Her husband was have a real struggle getting up even with the aid of his walker. She stopped dead without looking back and asked him if he needed her. He looked a little embarrassed as she abandoned her walker and slowly came back to help. She smiled at him as she helped him up and they walked out of the room, her in the lead, both heavily relying on their walkers.

Another older couple enters the clinic. Both take off their shoes and the wife took her husbands hand for a momentary squeeze, let go and whispered, ‘Can you see me?’ He nodded yes and she started to walk away. She turned to check on him and said ‘Still see me? Follow me to a chair,’ then reached out, touched his arm and let go again. He followed, struggling not to run into people seated around him. When they finally found seats next to one another they where behind me. I glanced back and noted the comfort they found in being together, it was written all over their posture

The third older couple sat right across from me. He looked at her hand and gruffly said ‘it looks better today’. She smiled and agreed. He then in an even more gruff tone remarked ‘I will stay here when you are called.’ She asks him why? ‘I haven’t a clue what this appointment is all about or what is going on.” “Well, (she huffed) you shan’t learn a thing by sitting out here.” He huffed back and looked at his shoes “even so I am not coming.” She looked at him for a moment, with no signs of offense and told him that was alright. She knew something about him I didn’t… he wasn’t just grumpy and she knew that and so she let him be.This people watching episode had me weepy. I was thinking about my man, how it is going to be hard for each of us to go the distance but I so long to be old and grumpy with him and him alone. I hope we are a cute couple then, playfully grumpy mostly, helpful and still tenderly affectionate… and… I really hope he remembers me, ha ha ha, his memory is already poor.

TTFN

Beyond Myself

by admin on February 17, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance with 2 Comments

In the moments of intense emotion how can we remember that it will be okay afterward? Beyond myself, as I fought, I heard a voice encourage me… do not sin in anger, you will not let this root deep… love, love, love… and I looked at the man that draws the most powerful emotions out of me; who pushes and yet holds me close in the strongest way I have ever experienced in the flesh and I see my best friend, my beau… that young gentle man I fell in love with, that young inexperienced, yet determined, dad that I fell more in love with, that spirit who is always growing in Christ whom I love beyond my own abilities to love… and I felt the calm in the midst of the storm… I love him, I forgave myself and I thanked the Holy Spirit for his still, small voice of reason and hope.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

My Artistic Side (eleven)

by admin on February 9, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance with 5 Comments

I listened to a speaker a while back and had used her idea to encourage a friend of mine to see herself as an artist and to enjoy her art, to engage her artistic side fearlessly… So easy to be generous to others in that way! The concept was we have all been taught to doubt our artistic side, to compare it and thus hide it… believing it never adds up too art. She believed it was healthy for EVERYONE to explore and enjoy their artistic side, to call it art and express it because that is part of being us.

(The producer.)

Garnet would never say it but I think he is finding me a bit on the ridiculous side. He is being very patient with me this time round, as I take my time warming up to the idea of being involved in music again. I don’t want to go for the mainstream feel so here is what I decided to do to get my feet wet again… hymns… we are going to work on the hymns I learned last year and started with one I know really really well to just get me going.

He put it up on his myspace and I guess that is when I became ridiculous. I asked him to leave it up for my mom and dad cuz I knew they would love it and not judge but then when I heard he shared it with a couple friends I insisted it COME DOWN. It’s nerves okay! I didn’t used to have them when it came to singing but I also always did it live and that seemed different… recording and hearing your own voice is kind of unnerving, I don’t think I have ever really listened to a recording of myself before.Anyhow, this is a project for my man and me. I really do love him and love doing this with him so here is the link to our first version of ‘Fairest Lord Jesus’. I am putting this subject under the label of romance because I am blessed to have a husband who encourages me to enjoy my artistic side and under my adventures because getting back into music is just that, a big adventure for me. I haven’t always been thankful for the pull at my heart to engage in artistic expression… it was often a stress to me because of low self esteem. Today, lately, I am honestly very thankful for my artistic side, just as I have been very thankful for others artistic sides for years.

TTFN

Robbie Burns Day

by admin on January 25, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, My Romance with No comments
HAPPY ROBBIE BURNS DAY!

Not having had too many opportunities in our lives to celebrate our Scottish culture, Garnet and I took the opportunity available to us, this past weekend, and went on a date to our first ‘Robbie Burns Supper’. It was an incredible night of Scottish tradition and culture.I was VERY excited and had unbridled enthusiasm for every part of the evening. Although my man found the bagpipes loud I was carried away by them. The dancers where amazing, from the very traditional, modernized to the folk dancers. There where wee girls up to senior men performing for us. One little boy in his kilt and diaper kept following his older sisters around (they where performing) and he was just too cute to even describe! When the Scottish elders where piped in I was more then into the clapping, then the haggis was piped in and I was bursting while I clapped.

I was honestly looking forward to trying haggis for the first time! Here was my chance to dive into true Scottish tradition! Listening to the ode to the haggis had me grinning from ear to ear… right up until I tried it. It was… alright… not being able to smell apparently was an advantage for me but honestly it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had always imagined. I had assumed you had to have the steal strength and fire-y disposition of a true SCOT to be able to handle it but it wasn’t so bad.

(Due to my camera being old, it died after only a couple pictures so this is the only picture I got of me. I am in the van, eagerly waiting for my man to lock up so we can go. We both dressed up and looked great, only wish I had a picture of us together.)

The highlight of the whole evening was when the folk dancers asked for volunteers. I had tried to get my man out dancing to one of their events only weeks before and it hadn’t worked out. He had a look of horror while I had a look of joy… here was my chance! I jumped out of my seat and had him on the dancing floor before he knew what hit him. They call out the instructions very clearly so although it was the very first time we had danced together in public we did alright. I learned to avoid his toe crushing feet (he needs to work on that for my sake) and he learned to guide me… I laughed so hard when he ran me into another lady (whose husband was as nervous as mine) and I told him ‘you are supposed to lead dear.’ his look of surprise told me we really where TRUE amateurs at this! Oh but we both laughed as we did our best. He had to admit by the time we where done that it was great fun. I found it purely romantic to dance and laugh so heartily with my Scottish man.

(My good friend’s Dad giving the toast to Robbie Burns.)

Are we going next year? You bet! Are we going to dance together again? Totally! Especially once we get some lessons!

TTFN

Robbie Burns Day

by admin on January 24, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, My Romance with No comments
HAPPY ROBBIE BURNS DAY!

Not having had too many opportunities in our lives to celebrate our Scottish culture, Garnet and I took the opportunity available to us and went on a date to our first ‘Robbie Burns Day Supper’. It was an incredible night of Scottish tradition and culture.

I was VERY excited and had unbridled enthusiasm for every part of the evening. Although my man found the bagpipes loud I was carried away by them. The dancers where amazing, from the very traditional, modernized to the folk dancers. There where wee girls up to senior men performing for us. On little boy in his kilt and diaper kept following his older sisters around (they where performing) and he was just too cute to even describe! When the Scottish elders where piped in I was more then into the clapping, then the haggis was piped in and I was bursting while I clapped.

I was honestly looking forward to trying haggis for the first time! Here was my chance to dive into true Scottish tradition! Listening to the ode to the haggis had me grinning from ear to ear… right up until I tried it. It was… alright… not being able to smell apparently was an advantage for me but honestly it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had always imagined. I had assumed you had to have the steal strength and fire-y disposition of a true SCOT to be able to handle it but it wasn’t so bad.

(Due to my camera being old, it died after only a couple pictures so this is the only picture I got of me. I am in the van, eagerly waiting for my man to lock up so we can go. We both dressed up and looked great, only wish I had a picture of us together.)

The highlight of the whole evening was when the folk dancers asked for volunteers. I had tried to get my man out dancing to one of their events only weeks before and it hadn’t worked out. He had a look of horror while I had a look of joy… here was my chance! I jumped out of my seat and had him on the dancing floor before he knew what hit him. They call out the instructions very clearly so although it was the very first time we had danced together in public we did alright. I learned to avoid his toe crushing feet (he needs to work on that for my sake) and he learned to guide me… I laughed so hard when he ran me into another lady (whose husband was as nervous as mine) and I told him ‘you are supposed to lead dear.’ his look of surprise told me we really where TRUE amateurs at this! Oh but we both laughed as we did our best. He had to admit by the time we where done that it was great fun. I found it purely romantic to dance and laugh so heartily with my Scottish man.

(My good friend’s Dad giving the toast to Robbie Burns.)

Are we going next year? You bet! Are we going to dance together again? Totally! Especially once we get some lessons!

TTFN

Confidant Thankful (three)

by admin on December 20, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance with No comments

We aren’t perfect at it but I am so very very thankful, particularly tonight even, that my husband and I are one anothers confidants. We talk LOTS and listen more to one another. The communication is so very high on our list that we fight for it.

If I didn’t have him to confide in, bounce ideas off of, or to just seek encouragement from I don’t know where I would be today. For your open heart, that is willing to hear it all and think about it all and work on it all with me I am very thankful! Thankful to you and to our Lord Jesus Christ for seeing fit to put us together forever.

TTFN

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