All posts in My Romance

Jogging Must Wait

by admin on February 8, 2012 in My Romance, The Jogger Within? with No comments

I am sure there would be a few women who would be a little unimpressed with their hubby bringing them home work out equipment, as a surprise… ha ha ha but that isn’t myself, this time anyways

With jogging not going well this ice-y winter I have been looking for other options.  Between migraines and thyroid issues I have started to really appreciate how good exercise wards off feeling awful.  Needed a new affordable option, with the benefit of taking little time.  I can’t get away to nor afford gym membership

Just a few months after the new year a lot of decent equipment started popping up on second hand sites and my man found this little beauty (only a month or two old) at his jobs classifieds.  With a steal of a deal struck he picked it up right away. 

First night I managed 5k while watching ‘Republic of Doyle’.  I am a little sore but not as sore as landing on the ice or twisting my joints to avoid falling has been.  So for now jogging must wait till spring thaw and here’s hoping my exercise bike keeps me in enough shape that I am not starting from nothing with jogging again.

Thanks honey 🙂

TTFN

Overcoming Apathy (Marriage Monday)

by admin on February 7, 2012 in Little Things, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 7 Comments
(My man and I, braving -35 weather for a walk together.)

We laugh together.  When we are really not feeling the excitement in our relationship we talk till we laugh and laugh till we are kissing.  He is so good at making me laugh and I apparently am entertainingly funny when I am not even trying, he has alluded to it being my cute factor or some other such nonsense.

We purposely decide to hold one anothers hands more often, kiss more often; flirt more in general.

We have fun together.  Over the years we have found many things we don’t both like but a few we both really really like and so we make time to get alone and do these things, like go for a walk with the camera and take pictures then mess with them on gimp (a photo editing program), or exercise (I know, sounds nutty but we both like the same types of exercise).  Take a bike ride together, jog together by the river or skate and toboggan with plenty of goofing off involved.

It is hard to get apathetic with this man because we find so much time for one another, time to enjoy all of the above, the laughter, the flirting and the activities.

Enjoy your marriage!

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

I Think I’m In Love (Still)

by admin on January 25, 2012 in Feeling It (Thankful), Foodie Like Me, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Little Things, My Romance with No comments

This man knows me well and the regular dinner and a movie date is not for me.  We got some time off last Saturday and decided to go with an afternoon date so we would get home in time to snuggle up, after the kids where in bed, and watch an episode of our favorite show together.  I would take an hour on the couch watching our show together over two hours in a movie theater any day. 

Talking is largely what our dates are all about, uninterrupted talk time!  No censoring it for little eager ears who don’t need to know everything yet and no being interrupted by chatty little attention hogs.  The eager ears and attention hogs happen to be the same four kids. 

Our date consisted of going to a tea shop and picking out some new flavors (we are both big tea drinkers).  This took plenty of time, pomp and ceremony really, and we really cherish having enough time to fuss at a fuss kinda shop.  He does the smelling (since I can’t) and I do the reading and humming over the styles of tea.  We walked up and down the mall after that just to talk and hold hands. 

We drove across the city so we could continue our conversation and then he took me out to WOK BOX.  I just can’t move past this simple little chain restaurant, there is so much to like about it.  Fast, fresh, noodles and loads of veggies.  Mostly I can’t get over their sauces and tofu!  It ain’t fancy but he knows it makes me smile.  We laughed and teased and sucked up our noodles like a couple of teenagers.

(There’s my man!  Taken last summer.)

When it was time to go home he let me drop him off and take our sitter, my sister, out to a movie!  Ha ha ha, this may sound like a rip off to some or very unromantic to others but he knows I need away time, girl friend time and me time and that took years to teach him.  He knows I will be home around ten, just in time for tea and our show.  He knows he makes me so darn happy because we aren’t overly clingy with our time and yet totally into one another still.

He is such a prize!

TTFN

MARRIAGE MONDAY Reboot if you will :)

by admin on January 16, 2012 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 14 Comments
(My eldest three and I performing for a non-family audience for the first time.)

After a holiday break we are all meeting up once again, thanks to our host at http://www.chrysaliscafe.com/ . We where requested to do up this little fill in the blank style post to help reacquaint ourselves.
I am….. better then my human potential.
I want….. too much for myself.
I have….. more then I deserve.
I wish….. I had more time to perfect hobbies and talents.
I hate….. migraines (they are new to me and not welcome).
I miss….. the northern forests I was raised in.
I fear….. phobias… they are a more physical fear as you often don’t realise you have them till put in the situation where your body really shuts down.  Being underground is that for me…fainted a few times before realising I was even afraid in such a circumstance.
I feel….. disappointed in my health.
I hear….. music almost all the time, I am either listening to it or making it.
I smell….. very little since I was born without this sense.
I crave….. chocolate
I search….. for little moments in time that are often over looked.
I wonder….. at God and all his mystery.
I regret….. time spent regretting instead of learning from mistakes.
I love….. Garnet.
I ache….. when I see painful things my kids must go through, especially when I can identify with them.
I care….. too deeply about what others think when they aren’t being clear about it… must stop reading between the lines.
I always….. enjoy tea and a good book.
I am not….. good at forgetting.
I believe….. in truth.
I dance….. often with the kids, not well, but I can’t help moving!
I sing….. with my eldest three in public. Singing I have done since I was small but it is made anew in sharing it with my kids!
I cry….. easily
I don’t always….. pray and think first.
I fight….. more appropriately, thanks to my husbands ‘good form’ (behavior that conforms to social conventions of the time; “it is not good form to brag about winning”) in this regard.
I write….. often but rarely with paper and pen any more.
I never…. get it all right.
I listen….. better but need to practice growth in this area.
I need….. Jesus
I am happy….. based on happenstance thus I trust more in the JOY my saviour provides.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. (Prov 18:22 NASB)

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Lovely Weather For A Sleigh Ride Together

by admin on December 21, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Holiday Messages, Little Things, My Romance with No comments
 Can you hear the sleigh bells jingling?  
Ring ting tingling too?!
Pops and Grams (my husbands folks) where kind enough to let us know about their community winter day in the park, Sunday past.  Oh what a grand opportunity to bask in Christmas feelings!  A sleigh ride is a sure fire way to take me back and make me all sentimental.  
We had neighbours, up north, who had two very strong (mid-sized) ponies to pull us on what we called hay rides; probably since there was a lot of straw involved.  We often came home with it up our jackets and down our ski pants.  Sleigh rides are so civil down south!  There was only one boy who kept hopping off and on and he got ‘spoken to’.  
(Garnet and I, our first photo together.  Also our first Christmas holiday together.)

Back home we spent more time wrestling off and on the ride then sitting and looking around.  It was one big brawl from start to finish.  Mr Hillier only ever stopped the ponies if we fell so far behind that we couldn’t catch up, weighted down, as we where, by our snow gear.  We laughed so hard and loved ever minute of it.  I remember it was one of the first things I had to do with him, when Garnet and I where dating.  My brothers took it upon themselves to immediately try to throw the city boy off.  It took a lot of work, Garnet is a stubborn and big fellow.  He was game right away though.  I remember I got him worse then anyone else; he was hanging on by his hands at one point and I coyly unhinged his fingers till he rolled away, carrying my brother with him.  My brother had been hanging on to Garnet’s foot trying to pull him off from that side.  My boyfriend landed safely… on top of my brother… knocked the wind right out of him, it was all terribly funny!

Well the ride this Sunday was really genteel and sweet.  We climbed up and sat orderly.  The kids gushed about the horses and the ride.  My sister and I broke out in ‘jingle bells’ with her daughter and my youngest boy at one point.  All adding up to romantically Christmas-y memories to keep.  It was such mild weather for this time of year and thus truly was ‘lovely weather for a sleigh ride together’.
My youngest pointed out the ‘horse’s bums’ and my second youngest thought they might not be real horses but was pleased when we told her they are.  All four kids really enjoyed the hot chocolate served in the skating shed.  We finished this romantic evening with coffee and soup at Grams and Pops house, just a couple blocks from all the fun.  
I couldn’t help stealing glances at Garnet through it all, remembering our first sleigh ride together, up where I come from.  I can get so enamoured with him still.  Ahhh romance always adds to this time of year.  
Wishing you a very merry Christmas!
TTFN

The Engagement (Marriage Monday)

by admin on December 5, 2011 in Adventure and Me, Life Keeps Changing, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 5 Comments
Under A Tree
Two young people sit under a tree, at their favourite city park.
He is reading to her, from Galatians…
She is leaning against him.
Mid sentence he turns her around and asks ‘Will you marry me?’
In shock, she threatens that this had better not be a joke.
In a demanding voice she points out he seems surprised that he asked, and had better be very very sure.
The color returns to his face and he starts to giggle while assuring her of his sincerity.
There under the tree two young people kissed, for the first time.
They both where trembling.
She cried and said yes.
He hugged her close.
The children near by, in the park, christened the event with an chorus of ‘ewwwwwww’!
There was no ring, but they didn’t need one to know their hearts where stuck together.
There was no bowing of the knee, no ceremony and honestly no planning, but they didn’t notice.
All they saw was one another and all they would remember was the question, the answer and the kiss.

Over a month later they returned and he bent to one knee, she put on her best surprised face and he unrolled his sock and took out a ring for her. It had been their secret for a month…

And it all started under a tree in their favourite park.

~

P.s. When we renewed our vows, on our tenth anniversary, we went back to that tree and took photos together, thus the two photos at the top of this post. The first is us in 1999 and the second is us in 2010.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

In-law Monday (Marriage Monday)

by admin on November 7, 2011 in Marriage Monday, My Romance, People In My Heart with 8 Comments
(A carving my father in-law made for us. He chose the fairy tale imagery because of my interest in all things romantic. I call it my hobbit house.)

I have in-laws, like any married woman, and I like to remind myself that my husband THUS has in-laws too.

No matter how you were draw to your spouse you will find many differences in upbringing, thus many differences in your views of the world and your in-laws views of the world. Just as you have to work at the marriage relationship because you will both be joining two different worlds together; you also have to put the same effort at joining with your in-laws world. The idea is to not look at this relationship selfishly but to remember you and your husband both have to make an effort to understand people who are often largely so very different from you.

In my marriage it is very true that opposites did attract. Therefore, another thing I like to remind myself of is how could I have found such a perfect match if not for who his parents are? If they weren’t different from me they could not have made my opposite.

Put your spouse first and also remember other couples need do the same, remember your in-laws are a couple.

Hope always… sometimes the understanding that you come from different worlds and neither is cut and dry wrong will not be reciprocated. Or the understanding of you and your spouse having to put one another first will not be seen for the necessity it is… in such cases hope always, avoid bitterness, forgive and pray for reconciliation… you can do no more for the rest is up to Christ and other peoples hearts, neither of which can you control.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Living Life With Umph!

by admin on October 15, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance, People In My Heart with No comments
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with you own life.” ~Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

We like to find distractions, escapism from our own lives, but there is greater benefit in being honest with ourselves. Honest about where we are and who we are and what we are called to right now. Checking into and investing into ones own life, with gusto, can be against our human nature and is a lot of work. If you aren’t willing to fight for the relationships in your life, the purpose in your life…. yourself…. who will?

While it takes time to prove that their is great gain in endurance and contentment it isn’t hard to see the consequences of not seeking this heart attitude. Take my life as an example. I know I am more then a mother, I have a complex collection of relationships that I should be sinking myself into, but I choose this calling as this posts example. Who would suffer if I became frustrated with it? It takes very little for me to become selfishly focused… to kick at my responsibilities, rebel against my reality… If I decide I am not going to live creatively as a wife and mother I am the only one who will be responsible for that waste of relationship and opportunity; but I will not suffer alone in my mistake… my children will not have a devoted and attentive mother, my husband will not have the gift I promised him in our vows, that gift being my heart.

Thankfulness is a gift from Christ and as we use it to give him his do it is also a gift back to him. His thankfulness is strength in our lives. It works like a medicine against the destructiveness of misguided focus, discontentment, frustration, and selfishness. A thankful heart will not be drawn into pity parties that result from comparing oneself to others. A thankful heart will find contentment with how life is, even when that seems unrealistic. A thankful heart can not ignore the beauty in our lives despite the intensity of life’s shadows. A thankful heart will be unafraid to examine ones self and ones work and will not be shy about diving into that with intense joy.

May I take the strength Christ offers me to live my life creatively and with umph!

P.s. Just had a day with no umph…where the house was a disaster AGAIN and the kids where climbing the walls; this following verse always encourages me in the calling over my life to love and serve my family.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessings if we don’t give up.”
~Galatians 6:9

TTFN

The Children Topic (Marriage Monday)

by admin on September 26, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 5 Comments


I knew I wanted a baby. He knew he wanted a big family… and of course that starts with babies. We were both young. We didn’t live as a married couple for more then a year before we had our first child and so we grew up raising kids, in a way. I was ready…him… perhaps not so much.

The first think I noticed about children is they push you, to be more patient, to be more selfless, to sacrifice. They also push at moms and dads. It is easy to loose touch with your spouse once there is a new member of the family to get to know and to make welcome.

Marriages can be strained by the arrival of children but I think a sure fire way to avoid that is to be one anothers best friend. Garnet and I started out as friends and have remained best friends as well as lovers. Parenting made that more tricky and at first as he continued to do his young man thing we drifted apart as I did my young mom thing. The best thing we ever did for our marriage, during that time of life, was to start integrating him into every little thing in babies world.

By baby number three he got it, that there was plenty of things he could do with the baby too and the attachment becomes stronger faster for him the more he is involved. I also got it, to let him help and not be too controlling about how I wanted things done. He had to brave a world more familiar to moms perhaps and I had to share our babies.

Not only did this increase the quality of his relationship with our kids, girls and boys alike, but it brought back that best friend relationship between he and I. I wasn’t doing it all and he wasn’t feeling put on the shelf. We were working together, trouble shooting as a team. Conversation between us and time together was far more frequent as he became more a part of my busy baby filled world.

The marriage relationship should never be put on the back burner, even for the kids, because it will hurt them long term too if mom and dads relationship suffer. We found it can be tricky to find time and energy for one another OFTEN ENOUGH if you divide the mom and dad work strictly and traditionally. New mom and dads need to find their parent groove together. Don’t be too worried about how you always thought it should be and instead worry about being in one anothers day to day world. You are going to need one another!

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Communication (Marriage Monday)

by admin on September 12, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance with 7 Comments

My husband can’t read my mind. My husband can’t read my complex or masking emotions. SPELL IT OUT FOR HIM and please stop assuming things about him… ask!

I used to hurt Garnet every time I was hurting. Why? Because I would burst asunder with many intertwined issues that I needed to communicate about after cramming for too long. I would try to be strong… I would thus come across as at first cold and then angry and how could he assume anything else but that he was being accused or blamed?

I had developed a habit of hiding my feelings, then when the cramming couldn’t be contained I would mask them with anger. My theory was anger hurt me less (I eventually learned this less pain for me was at the expense of my husbands feelings). I felt anger made me come across as strong, even when revealing hurts and worries (emotions I believed to be weak). I assumed men preferred this and saw tears and fears as manipulative… thus I told myself I was doing my man a favor.

Garnet is unique, as all men are, and yet has basic male tendencies, as all men do. Because he is unique I never should have assumed the assumptions I had about men lined up with him perfectly. Because he has basic male tendencies he wants to be my hero and find solutions right away. For him to feel like I was attacking him made him feel the failure and hopeless in the finding a solution part.

One day HE figured me out. In the midst of one of my moments he pointed out that everything came out anger and he was tired of trying to discern what was really behind that. ‘Trust me enough to be vulnerable and real,’ he asked and with that my anger wall crumbled.

To love him more I have learned to be honest with my emotions, clear with my issues, and not a crammer till the dam of emotions are so intertwined they burst forth like a flood.

If you really love your husband let him love you and be vulnerable with him, when your pain or worries make you feel that way.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

P.s. If you are like me and had trouble learning how to be open, even with your spouse, the most practical step you can take to get there is TALK LOTS about ANYTHING. We have done regular tea and talk times before bed (once the kids are asleep and can’t distract from the conversation) for many many years.

TTFN

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