All posts in Feeling It (Thankful)

Nuff Said :)

by admin on October 24, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), People In My Heart with 1 Comment

So I had a chat with Jesus yesterday. I had a chat about why I have been struggling in my prayer life… I kept it simple… and things are now on the up swing.

I had this desire, not completely wrong, to speak big beautiful words to him… to try to express in extreme poetry how much I adore him… so prayer became complicated… and then less often. I didn’t want to become religious about it but I swung too far the other way and started to neglect my side of the communication in this relationship. The silent treatment never helps a relationship so…

Lessons in prayer came my way from two unique women of the Lord.

Lady one leads the women’s study I go to each week. She is a gifted writer and a kind teacher. Each study she encourages us to keep our prayers simple. To not seek to impress or quote too much knowledge but to stay on topic. If the person wants prayer for health keep it simple, ‘Lord restore their health (nuff said)’. I have been listening to her advice for a year now and this last week I finally heard it… Oh thank you, study lady, for persevering in doing good… at just the right time your seeds are sprouting into something of harvest.

Lady two is a well known western Canadian folk/pop Christian musician who preached at our church Sunday past. She intertwined her message with her songs and so words of wisdom about prayer where knit to my soul as easily as songs and melodies are glued into my memory. We need to go to God in prayer persistently, HUNGRY and impoverished in spirit. Needing him daily to provide for our spirits, as the Israelites needed the manna daily in the dessert. Not binge eating and then skipping meals, but trusting him enough to seek out the six meals a day… an analogy for seeking him daily and not just BIG TIME now and then. We need to stop trying to do everything on our own strength. Looking to get just a pick me up or a lift from Christ isn’t living by his Spirit. If we can admit we are hungry and admit we are in need of him, as the poor of our cities are in need of food and generosity from others, we will receive.

So yesterday I explained to him why I had got overwhelmed with my own attempts at being an impressive prayer warrior. I told him in less words then that. I admitted my loneliness for him… my overwhelmed nature at trying to run things on my own… I let him into even my dark rooms of sin and trouble and I am praying again. Nuff said.

TTFN

Living Life With Umph!

by admin on October 15, 2011 in Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), My Romance, People In My Heart with No comments
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with you own life.” ~Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

We like to find distractions, escapism from our own lives, but there is greater benefit in being honest with ourselves. Honest about where we are and who we are and what we are called to right now. Checking into and investing into ones own life, with gusto, can be against our human nature and is a lot of work. If you aren’t willing to fight for the relationships in your life, the purpose in your life…. yourself…. who will?

While it takes time to prove that their is great gain in endurance and contentment it isn’t hard to see the consequences of not seeking this heart attitude. Take my life as an example. I know I am more then a mother, I have a complex collection of relationships that I should be sinking myself into, but I choose this calling as this posts example. Who would suffer if I became frustrated with it? It takes very little for me to become selfishly focused… to kick at my responsibilities, rebel against my reality… If I decide I am not going to live creatively as a wife and mother I am the only one who will be responsible for that waste of relationship and opportunity; but I will not suffer alone in my mistake… my children will not have a devoted and attentive mother, my husband will not have the gift I promised him in our vows, that gift being my heart.

Thankfulness is a gift from Christ and as we use it to give him his do it is also a gift back to him. His thankfulness is strength in our lives. It works like a medicine against the destructiveness of misguided focus, discontentment, frustration, and selfishness. A thankful heart will not be drawn into pity parties that result from comparing oneself to others. A thankful heart will find contentment with how life is, even when that seems unrealistic. A thankful heart can not ignore the beauty in our lives despite the intensity of life’s shadows. A thankful heart will be unafraid to examine ones self and ones work and will not be shy about diving into that with intense joy.

May I take the strength Christ offers me to live my life creatively and with umph!

P.s. Just had a day with no umph…where the house was a disaster AGAIN and the kids where climbing the walls; this following verse always encourages me in the calling over my life to love and serve my family.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessings if we don’t give up.”
~Galatians 6:9

TTFN

Little Thankful Thoughts This Thanksgiving!

by admin on October 9, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), Holiday Messages, People In My Heart with No comments

I feel like love and thankfulness are muscles, in a way, and we get better at them when we practice them even, and especially perhaps, under the weight of hard times.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton
I am often just thankful their isn’t another flu bug or cold in our house. I am more often thankful for the little people I call my babies. I have been thankful for Garnet since we met and I hope to learn more and more thankfulness toward MY JESUS as my life continues through what I would define as the good and the bad.

TTFN

When Embarrassment Is A Good Thing… (Just thinking about it.)

by admin on October 4, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful) with No comments

A little embarrassment goes a long way:) And I am not talking about the sting of it staying with you. It is strange how you can feel so very very flustered and embarrassed one moment and the next realise it was worth it. Taking ones self pride down a notch rarely is a negative.

Though we feel protected behind pride we are actually damaging ourselves, lock ourselves away from opportunities to love and be loved by others. Self pride is a wall that keeps us from getting beyond ourselves. To move beyond that wall and toward others we have to risk this thing we believe protects us.

The more that wall of pride comes down the more we see those around us clearly. We will value them more and interaction with others will lead to relationship.

Is that wall, that pride really worth being lonely? We lock out the risk but with it we also prevent relationship. If we are busy taking care of our pride we prevent others from getting to know us and often even prevent their love from reaching us.

Vulnerability leads to embarrassment, but as our pride wains our embarrassment over our own humanity will wain as well. Showing flaws, pains, true emotions and feelings for others will actually make us stronger then any wall of pride can. We will forever remain weak and vulnerable behind pride’s disguise.

I am thankful for embarrassments reminder that pride is not ever a decent replacement for love. Love makes me reflect on the truth that Christ is love incarnate.

TTFN

A Maze

by admin on October 3, 2011 in Feeling It (Thankful), Life Keeps Changing with No comments
(Baby Boy and his cousin roaring through the maze.)

I meet up with family at the local straw maze. It was a lovely morning full of fun and just TIME with one another.)

The children found the maze wonderfully mysterious because of their small stature. It meant they couldn’t see over the top of the walls. Hunkering down I was able to identify with their perspective. It was easy for me because of my height. I could find the end long before I was actually there. The children in the maze didn’t have this aerial view advantage.

One little girl panicked when she couldn’t see her parents. They where only a few feet away but a wall that she couldn’t see over was between them and she just wasn’t sure which way to go to find them. With almost terror in her voice she screamed continually ‘MOMMY! MOMMY!’ not hearing her Dad return her call until he reached over and touched her from the other side of a straw bale.

I still feel like that girl some times. Even as an adult there are walls that block vision… my way out of problems and I can sometimes get pretty panic-y. Everyone wants to know the way out as soon as they feel like they just can’t find it. Fear, frustration, anger can all kick in, and quickly. I hope as I get older I will practice more the understanding that seeing isn’t the only way to find your way out. Sometimes taking a few steps will lead you in the right direction. Other times being patient and standing still is the best way to avoid panic; who knows, a hero or an idea might just present itself.

I am thankful for who I trust in and I am thankful Christ will reach over and touch me in a reassuring way even when I am too panic-y to realise how very very close he already is.

TTFN

Catch The Fish Before You Clean It

by admin on September 29, 2011 in Feeling It (Thankful), People In My Heart with No comments

My Dad is a fisherman… a seriously devoted FISHERMAN! One of my favourite phrase of his was a fisherman’s word of wisdom, “Jesus catches his fish before he cleans them,”.

I always gleaned two main points out of this. First, Christians have no place in judging and demanding people change their ways when they aren’t Christ followers. If and when Christ calls us and blesses our heart with his presence he will do the changing. Even he didn’t come to judge but to heal.

Second, there is a very good reason why he doesn’t clean us before or right away after salvation is restored to us, and that is relationship. If we changed before, we would miss out on gaining understanding about who our saviour really is… AND what would we learn about ourselves, about our saviour, if we had perfection handed to us on a platter immediately after our conversion? We are healed and freed from our sins in a process of relationship with Christ. We struggle in this life, but NEVER alone and NEVER in our own strength. Christ does the catching and the cleaning; we just need to be in love with him and ready and obedient to the process he takes us on.

Watching Dad clean fish was a messy messy process… so too can life in Christ be. It isn’t suddenly more sleek then our walk before we met our Lord and we need to be honest about all this. The perception we put out there about needing to be perfect to be part of our club has always and will always be unhelpful to others and our selves; besides being an all out lie.

Like any metaphor used to help explain Christ and his way, this bit of fisherman’s wisdom is only a partial aid to a complicated and infinitely awesome God.

The first time I saw the picture, seen at the top of this post, my dad’s phrase flowed to my mind in a gush and I am thankful for his hearty and sound advice into my life over the years. My God fearing Dad was, and is, a huge blessing in my life!

P.s. May we all gain from this discussion another piece of understanding; that we are focusing too much on what we see when we judge others and try to force change on them before they meet Christ personally. May we remember that Jesus is concerned with OUR HEARTS!

TTFN

Honest Family Meetings

by admin on September 23, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Feeling It (Thankful), Four Little Eggs In My Nest with 1 Comment
Honestly just be honest:)

(The family meeting assembly, even the dog is welcome to attend.)

We started having family meetings a few years back. It was instated as family habit when we realised the kids where old enough to get it, and we where all needing to talk about more as our needs became different and more complicated. Often they are called when we feel like the kids aren’t getting enough time to share with us… more often they are called when communication and cooperation have broken down between us and the kids and so we need to remind everyone of the rules and lay down some punishments when needed.

The meetings are always based around one statement that has been essential to running this crew and that is ‘we are a big family and MUST work together and help out so that everything runs smoothly and for the betterment of all.’ At the meetings everyone gets time to share concerns and just stuff… even our two year old… who usually just talks about Lightning McQueen or the adventures of some other favourite character. Everyone is allowed to say exactly what they feel before things are resolved and dealt with. We all practice sharing and also listening in this way.

Last meeting I shared that I don’t like birthday parties. To my surprise all the kids replied was ‘we knew that already mom’. I explained how I just wish we could come up with something that still makes them feel special but doesn’t involve so much expense, stress and creativity… I am not a creative birthday party mommy. The idea of a sleep over with one friend after a day of playing and a cake and present time came up and all the kids loved it.

Well that was easier then I thought it would be…

In a matter of minutes something I had been wrestling with for some time had been resolved. The kids then wanted to direct the meeting toward school stories they had to share. That was it! The conflict I had felt, the stress, the worry about letting my kids down was all washed away and I realised they where fine with the truth and so should I. Don’t have to be like all the party planning mama’s out there, who are gifted in that area. I am different; my kids know it and like that about me.

Why am I feeling like writing this today? Well I just survived my last planned and themed birthday bash, relying heavily on my husband to help me through it, and I am super happy it is the last. Keeping it simple from here on in:)

Feeling thankful for our family meetings, for open communication with my kids and for being different and having kids who don’t mind that at all.

TTFN

Lit

by admin on September 17, 2011 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, Feeling It (Thankful), People In My Heart with 1 Comment


Hours… I have been rocking for hours. The night is old, the house is still, with the exception of my whole body moving the rocker back and forth back and forth. All would be silent if I was not still humming a lullaby softly, almost mechanically, to my baby girl.

She is my first baby… I am a first time mommy… but the transition from woman to mother was instantaneous. The learning curve steep, the hours long… the stress unlike anything else I have faced… I am bone tired, my brain is on autopilot most of the time and I am often weepy BUT I am a fighter. I am devoted. I am with out a choice and yet I still choose to be her long suffering mommy.

There is a fire in my chest that was lit the moment we began our relationship and each subsequent sibling would add to that fire. It is a unquenchable passion for my children that is beyond the physical. It doesn’t require me to be loud and proud or to express enthusiasm physically… it is deep and constant and certain.

For the first time ever I listened to a message on passion in the Lord that didn’t involve PROVE IT techniques . It wasn’t driving us to be loud personalities or vibrant movers and shakers. The speaker compared passion in the Lord to that calm solid passion I just spoke of… a mother for her new baby… I was completely able to identify and it made me think long, feel deep down, about what kind of bonfire is in my heart for my Lord… how unquenchable and consistent, even more then that, constant is it…

Some of the most passionate Christian brothers and sisters that I have know in my life weren’t necessarily loud and proud, but they had a solid heart ablaze and that warmth flowed from them as they moved full of peace, grace and dedicated devotion to love… to love their Lord, love their brothers and sisters and even love their enemies. They have spoken much into my life with their passion for Jesus.

I am thankful for encouragement to fan the flame of passion in my life… to dig deep and find it still there, burning in my heart for Jesus.

TTFN

Apple Sauce

by admin on September 6, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, Feeling It (Thankful), Foodie Like Me, My Romance with 1 Comment

We have never had an apple tree this big before or with apples this large, in our previous homes. My husband took it upon himself to solve the tall apple tree dilemma today. The tree grows way above and behind the cedars in our back yard. Most of the tree is sticking out into the back alley. When we go to harvest apples each year we always have the problem of no ladder long enough and the reddest apples are always high up.

(The kids did there best to help their Dad with the apple picking… although they where very much distracted by their water gun fight and the slip and slide.)

The kids and him fused with this problem most of the afternoon while I prepared a meal of garden fresh veggies for Garnet’s brother’s family. It was a tedious task for them (almost as tedious as cutting up all the apples for apple sauce). I love watching my husband work on a problem. His manly determination is very attractive.

When it was all done for the day we had enough apples picked to start me on my apples sauce marathon. It is an excellent kick off day and the rest of apples will wait… like little red and yellow promises of more work too come… just hanging up there on the tree. Every year I think I am not cut out for harvest time and every year I find a deep satisfaction in the work when I just dig into it and get busy. We will be enjoying thick, creamy, cinnamon-y apples sauce all winter again!

I am so thankful for produce to harvest and for a husband who enjoys digging into the work with me.

TTFN

The Process of Preparing a Meal That Is A Moment

by admin on September 4, 2011 in Bits Of My Personality, Book Flavor, Domestic Damsel, Feeling It (Thankful), Foodie Like Me, Little Things with 1 Comment

I am a napper… have been for years… my mother and grandmother where nappers so it is in the genes… In the last few years I have went from an easy riser to a crawl outta bed kinda mama. Fatigue is common place in my life.

Now I struggle with putting naps off. The idea of not being with it enough afterwards, for my kids sakes, is a real difficulty. This inner conflict meets its match with the promise of fresh espresso to help with the wake up process. I am super thankful for my little stove top espresso maker. It doesn’t break down like the fancy new ones often do. It is fast and makes nine shots at a time!

After years of this fatigue stuff I still manage to smile as I work at shacking it off, because I really really like my espresso treat and the espresso making process.

I have to serve my wake up espresso with something substantial to avoid going from a walking ton of bricks to jittery jabber-y nut. I find the process of setting it all up a sweet encouragement to my weary self. It is almost as pleasant as the slow morning routine of setting up a breakfast and not just scarfing something down.

Sun coming up…

patter out to the kitchen in favorite robe…

make favorite hot beverage and set up you breakfast in style so you feel pleased to sit down to it…

crack open the Bible and breath in and out as much as possible before the kids wake up!

Speaking of the process of presenting ones self with more then a meal but a moment…I just purchased a book, long ago recommended to me. It is about two women who spent a year purposely making a little oasis around their breakfast habit. I am hoping for delicious encouragement from this book. I will let you know what it is like when I get it.

TTFN

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