No matter how old you get you will find you get used to a time of life and start to think it defines you and that it will always be you.
Be prepared to always grow!
When do you earn… gain the right… to be labeled ‘a runner’ or ‘a musician’ or ‘an artist’? Does it involve training, require natural born talent, the validation of your peers (the willingness of them to tag you with this label) or a mix of and/or all of the above? Is there a required amount of hours put in before you receive it or is it something (like motherhood) that you have to grow into once you are already given the job?
I am not talking careers here, I am talking passions.
As I find the time in this new stage of life to dust off hobbies, perhaps even passions of mine, that I put off while I was immersed in the most demanding physical years of motherhood I am faced with a collection of unruly emotions. I believe love involves sacrifice and I spent years happily sacrificing my interests and, dare I say, talents so I would be less distracted from the beautiful task of raising my four babies. It might have been a struggle at points when my self would roar up for ‘ME’ but mostly it was a relief. My personality was such that I had never been very comfortable putting myself out there as a specific type of person, you know, defined by your abilities or interests. I was relieved to put them aside and devote myself to children. I found great passion in being a mom, the label fit and the job description was totally for me.
The funny thing about being a mom is you work so very hard at it so that one day your child can live independently of you… Somehow I convinced myself through it all that I was pretty well rounded as a mom, that I had me stuff, that I wasn’t just MOM… but why then would fear be involved when I face the prospect of having to be woman and not just mom… why would it be so scary to move to a stage where I can do more stuff outside of motherhood that I enjoy?
I think one earns the right to a label when it moves your heart to joy, when you look forward to it, want to talk about it and gain self reward from it enough, cherish it enough, to not need all others to accept it. You do it for you and understand it isn’t who you are but part of who you are.
So here I go, picking up those labels I had put away, with hands shaking, so be it. Some I am happy to see and others just don’t fit anymore… and that is okay because I am letting myself grow. Others might find that hard to understand. It is human nature to label others and seek to keep them in that box. We must, however, never just accept the labels put upon us by others, even by ‘friends’, when you know in your heart it isn’t a jacket you fit.
TTFN
Feel free to click on the link to my husbands music page, it is on the side bar of my blog. He just recently remastered his two posted songs and the lullaby he wrote for our fourth child gets me every time. I find it so romantic that my man would put his artistic nature to work on something for me and my baby.
